Absolutely
by ofDiamonds
Summary: This was my entry in a Mary-sue parody contest. During the Maurader’s time, an exchange student from Texas falls in love with 16 year old Snape.Also includes: Sybill getting a makeover and James using dog!Sirius to pick up chicks. Please review!
1. Call me Honey

_Absolutely_

_A Mary-Sue fanfic by Seven of Diamonds_

_Genre: Harry Potter (Prequel, Marauders' time) Romance/Drama_

_Rate PG for kissing, comic drunkenness, and crude humor_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. They all belong to J.K. Rowling. (Except for Honey and maybe a few others that I made up, but she can have them! Not that she'd want them…)_

_Shipping: Everyone is going to trade throughout; some of the pairings will get quite odd, I'm warning you. _

_Author's Notes: This was part of a Mary-sue writing contest I had with my friends. This is a parody, and very much a Mary-sue. Just to make things clear, I have nothing against Texas __J Don't take any of this stuff seriously! As for character butchering…I am truly sorry. I have an unhealthy love for the Harry Potter books and each and every character, but I also have a twisted sense of humor…_

Chapter 1

The train station was buzzing that early autumn morning. Sixteen-year-old Severus Snape wheeled his small, beaten up luggage cart easily through platform nine and three quarters. He was very depressed, having left his household on bad terms again. So imagine his emotions when unexpectedly his cart was knocked over in a blur.

"Oh, I am so sorry! It was my fault entirely." The speaker had a soft, feminine southern accent.

An American?

Severus took a step back to get a better look. The girl had knelt down to put his things back on the cart, making her long ponytail cover her face as she looked down. She suddenly looked up, flinging the golden brown waves back and revealing two enormous eyes, framed by long lashes, which were as black as the night sky on new moon. She was dressed completely in the standard Hogwarts uniform, with a few alterations to go with her unique personality. Her socks extended above her knees, which were visible beneath her pleated skirt (which ended at mid-thigh.) Her blue and bronze tie was draped loosely across her shoulders, outlining a peculiar glass pendant resting at her collar bone.

"Could you help me up?" Her heart-shaped face was set off by a few stray tendrils, which had elegantly come undone from her silvery hair thingy. Severus gently extended his trembling weedy hand to the attractive young woman. She got to her feet, but all of a sudden, she tripped in her high platform boots, (which were calf-high with big star shaped buckles that she had painted herself) and fell straight into his skinny, undernourished arms.

"Oh my," she giggled, sounding like jingle bells at Christmas, as they untangled themselves. She had the pleasant aroma of lilacs and pineapples. Her amber eyes examined his pallid face, not disgusted by his greasy hair and aquiline nose. When they rested at his pasty mouth, she put a willowy, manicured hand to her cheek in concern. "Are you hurt?"

He quickly backed away, trying to cover his swollen lip, compliments of his abusive, no-good, hideous, penniless father whom Severus had loathed all of his entire life.

"Its nothing," he said, trying to act like a man.

She put a finger to his face, careful not to cut him with her inch long metallic pink nails, which had a string of rhinestones glued at the tips. From her Hello Kitty™ handbag she withdrew a 12 1/5 inch cypress wand, which she had also glued rhinestones on.

"Caffeine carbonate," she drawled, waving her wand with a quick flick. The wound healed with a tingling sensation. "My name is Jessamine Louisa Mirabelle Astrid. But ev'ry body calls me Honey, because of my hair and eyes. I am an exchange student from Paris."

"Paris?" Severus asked, raising a thin eyebrow.

"Paris, Texas, I mean," she laughed. Severus smirked at the joke. Suddenly his dark eyes went wide as he spotted something coming their way. Honey casually turned to look.

"Excuse me, miss, is this oily scoundrel bothering you?" A handsome boy of their same age was strolling over to them, wand in hand. He casually ruffled his jet black hair and pushed his glasses down on his nose, grinning at Honey with striking hazel eyes. He shook her hand tenderly, holding it two seconds longer than necessary. "I'm James Potter, pleased to make your acquaintance."

Honey rolled her eyes. "They call me Honey."

"I'd love to," he replied flirtatiously, "so is Snivellus bothering you?"

"Snivellus? That can't be your real name?" She turned to Severus, batting her large honeysuckle eyes.

"My name is Severus," he said, attempting to fricassee James with his nuclear glare.

"Well, Severus is most certainly not bothering me and I do not appreciate it when people accuse without supporting evidence."

"I apologize," James said insincerely.

Honey quickly recognized that he wasn't sincere but said nothing because she knew there was just no use in arguing with people like that. She glanced at her pink Barbie™ wristwatch. "We had better get on the train."

"Do you want to sit with my friends and me?" James asked, running a hand through his messy hair, which was as black as black ashes.

"No thank you. See y'all tonight." She gave Severus a quick wink, closing and opening one long lashed eye very rapidly, and disappeared into the train doors.

Honey made her way through the aisle, politely turning down several (mostly male) students welcoming her to sit beside them. She had reached the end when she heard James' baritone voice coming from further back. Not wanting to have another encounter with her annoying, yet charming and handsome acquaintance, she ducked into the closest compartment. England was quite different than she had imagined…but anything was better than the ghastly past she had left behind. Honey put her head in her willowy hands, remembering the horror she had witnessed that warm summer's day, two agonizing years ago…

She suddenly noticed three other people in the compartment with her. She whipped her head upward, splashing her ponytail backwards, to see three girls.

"Hello, I don't believe I've seen you around here before." The eldest one said. She was rather busty with short, flipped blonde hair and cerulean blue eyes; almost as pretty as Honey.

Honey dabbed at her large eyes, the color of fossilized tree sap, with her lacy white handkerchief that she had brought along just for brooding, so that the girls would not think she was feeble. She had to be brave. After all, this was a new place. A new beginning, she fought back her tears and tried to think of the friendly boy she had met. "I'm an exchange student. I've moved here from America for...." she paused mysteriously.

"Personal reasons," another girl finished more mysteriously. If Honey had been a less perceptive person, she might have missed the strange, skinny girl scrunched into the side of the compartment.

"How did you know?" Honey asked in total disbelief. Suddenly it hit her; this girl must be a Seer!

Could it be?

She leaned forward for a closer look. The Seer girl had on a pair of weird spectacles, and her frighteningly frizzy hair was let long and loose. Around her skinny neck she wore a bunch of dangly beads, kind of like the ones people where at Marti Gras in New Orleans when its marti gras. Honey noticed the Hufflepuff insignia on the young lady's robes, which were rather long and loose on her. Honey's view of the girl was suddenly blocked by a third girl's head.

"It is very nice to meet you," the third girl said, offering her hand, on which the nails had been very neatly trimmed, without any polish. She had straight, neatly combed dark cherry red hair and vibrant green eyes. A green headband made a line between her perfect red bangs. "I'm Lily Evans, a Gryfindor prefect, so if you need any help just feel free to ask. This is Rosmerta, and that's—" she motioned to the strange girl and made a forced smile, "Sibyll."

"Lovely to meet y'all." Honey said with a million dollar smile. "I'm Honey."

"So which house are you in?" Rosmerta asked inquisitively, while looking up from her compact mirror as she fixed her watermelon/ cherry flavored sparkly lip-gloss.

"She doesn't know yet." Sibyll said without turning to look at them.

"I haven't been sorted yet," Honey said with a sly grin. Sibyll noticed the faint natural rosy glow in her peaches and cream complexion.

"You have met a nice boy?" Sibyll pried.

"I met two boys," Honey sat up straight, "the first was a doll, didn't say much though. The second was pretty cute, but he was actin' as if he was some sorta bigshot or something."

Lily and Rosmerta exchanged knowing glances. "James Potter. He is the most rude, conceited, arrogant, member of the male species that I have ever met in my entire life." Lily pursed her slightly shiny lips, which she had applied a clear gloss to. She did not wear a lot of makeup, as she was a very good girl and student, and only went for boys who were the same. "Him and that Sirius Black. They think they're so cool, just because they're brilliant and sporty and the best looking guys in the school."

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much…" Rosmerta said under her breath.

Suddenly the compartment doors rolled opened. Lily's rolled her vibrant green eyes and sighed. "What do you want?"

Honey turned to see the most handsome boy she had ever seen. He was tall, with cavernous silver eyes and luxurious dark hair. He smiled at her devilishly, leaning against the compartment door in a laid back stance.

"He just came with me to meet the new exchange student, like Dumbledore suggested," another voice said. Another boy entered, with pale brown hair and deep melancholy eyes. He turned to Honey and offered his hand, "Jessamine Astrid, I presume."

Honey giggled, this time sounding like the bell on a convenience store door if someone was opening over and over again. "Call me Honey," she said sweetly.

"I'd love to," the handsome boy said, still leaning against the door, flexing his muscles. He wasn't trying to impress them or anything, he was one of those naturally gorgeous people who didn't care how he look, but was simply gorgeous anyway.

"Let me guess, you are Sirius Black." Honey guessed, not intimidated by his manly muscles and gorgeous face. His aristocratic background was apparent, but she was not impressed. She 'd been tothe Texas slums, and knew that the best of people came from places that weren't luxurious and rich.

"Whatever she said about me…it isn't true," Sirius said, enamored by the way she had known who he was, and was not intimidated by his absolute gorgeousness.

"She said you were one of the best looking guys in the school." Honey smiled so brightly he had to look away. Her teeth were as pearly as white pearls. "Who is your friend?"

"I'm Remus Lupin, the other Gryfindor prefect," the pale, melancholy boy said, sounding very downhearted. He was obviously depressed about something, as he kept his eyes downcast unhappily.

"Well it's very nice to meet you, Remus." She smiled at him with a knowing glance, as if she had looked into his soul. He also had to look away from her piercing amber eyes. "Do you want to sit with us?"

Lily turned to Honey and shook her head vivaciously. Rosmerta was oblivious to everything except her watermelon/ cherry sparkly lip-gloss, which she was still cautiously applying. Sybill's googly eyes were transfixed on Remus' boyish features.

"Er—I'm sorry but we have to catch up with James," he said, and then smiled, making him look less angsty, "It was nice to meet you Miss Honey…see you around Lily and Rosmerta." Remus nodded politely to them respectively, then noticed the scrawny girl in the back, "you too, Stacey."

Sibyll did not correct his error, and simply said, "The thing you've been dreading will happen in a few days."

He looked back, startled out of his wits, and then hurried away. Sirius still remained posing in the doorway, until Remus pulled him away.

"What's he been dreading?" Rosmerta asked, putting the cap back on her lip-gloss and taking out a bottle of foundation.

"No idea."

The students waited in the great hall as the first year students were sorted. After they had finished with the name, "Zabini, Alex," another name was called. "Astrid, Jessamine Louisa Mirabelle." The students watched curiously as Honey, far too old to be a first year, rose from her place.

Honey took a deep breath and stepped up on the dais, where the raven haired Professor McGonagall waited to daintily set the Sorting Hat on Honey's honey colored crown. As she sat down, she glanced around the room. Over at the Gryfindor table, James, Sirius, and Remus were gossiping with a chubby blonde boy. Lily sat alone at the farthest end of the table. She noticed Rosmerta sitting with the Ravenclaws, but Sibyll was no where to be found at the Hufflepuff table. She was about to glance for Severus, when the raven haired Professor McGonagall daintily set the Sorting Hat on Honey's honey colored crown

"Hmmmm… you are a brave one," the hat said, in its deep, slightly creepy voice, "But your loyalty is unmatched as well… yet overall you are fair, fairer even then Rowena Ravenclaw in her blossoming years. I see you have her mind as well, wise enough to make even the centaurs bow. So, as long as you agree…" She nodded, and the hat continued pretentiously. "I will have to say RAVENCLAW!!!"

All the students burst into overwhelming applause as Honey descended the staircase to sit beside Rosmerta at the Ravenclaw table.

"Do you like the food?" Rosmerta asked.

"Oh, desserts are my favorite!" Honey said sweetly.

A handsome young Asian boy with shocking violet eyes leaned in from across the table. "I'm Bob Chang, captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. Do you play?"

"Well…I was on the team back at Horsegrowth's, but—"

"Horsegrowth School of Magic and Sorcery? In Texas? They have one of the best teams in the bloody world!" Bob grabbed her willowy hands excitedly, and looked deep into her honey tinted eyes. "You wouldn't happen to be a seeker, would you?"

"Why yes, actually." She said dreamily, reminiscing about past victories, lost in old memories; happy and bittersweet.

"Excellent, our Seeker just went into labor! We need a replacement! Tell me you'll help us." Bob gave her wrists a delicate squeeze; the whole table froze with utter anticipation.

"Nothing would give me more honor than to play with such fine, friendly people as yourselves." Honey dabbed at her eyes with her lacy handkerchief, overjoyed to finally be accepted. Bob let go of her supple wrists and stepped up on the table.

"Ladies and gentlemen of Hogwarts School, I am pleased to announce that Ravenclaw has found a seeker!" He pulled Honey up with him, lifted her in the air and spun her around. Suddenly the enchanted Hogwarts ceiling began to rain pink and blue confetti; there was another burst of applause. As she spun, she saw Severus Snape secretly clapping for her, whereas the rest of his table was not.

"Who is that?" she whispered to Bob as he continued spinning her around under the confetti.

"Which one? The greasy one?" he asked, turning the other way to see, trying to blow some confetti out of his navy eyes.

"That's not very nice, Bobby!" she scolded, giving Severus a wave.

"Sorry," he spun her around again, "that's Severus Snape, a creepy Slytherin boy. I wouldn't recommend you get caught up with his sort."

Slytherin? Aren't they supposed to be…mean?

Bob set her down and took her hand. He bowed, while she did an old fashioned Texas curtsy. The people continued congratulating her as they helped her off the table, but her mind was now pondering other things.

A Slytherin…

How could she ever have befriended a Slytherin?


	2. Saved by the Southern Belle

Chapter 2  
  
After 2 weeks of school, Honey proved to be a rocking Quidditch champion and killer country singer. She was especially skilled in the art of Transfiguration with the raven-haired Professor McGonagall. With a quick wave of her cypress wand, Honey transfigured her dictionary into a thesaurus.  
"My goodness, how do you do that so well?" Lily asked from the desk beside her. Remus also looked on in admiration on her other side.  
"I've been told it was...in my blood," Honey blushed. "But I really wouldn't know, I was adopted."  
"Really?"  
"My adoptive parents were pureblood, but I have yet to find out what I am. Not that I'm into that kind of stuff. 'not as if it makes some sort of difference."  
"Yeah." Lily shook her head. "My parents are muggles and it seems like a lot of people find that repulsive. I find that attitude repulsive."  
"My mum's a muggle and my dad's pureblood. Slytherin's find that just as bad," Remus sighed.  
"So you have the worst of both worlds?" Honey raised an eyebrow, in a look that clearly said she knew Remus' deepest darkest secret.  
"You...know?" Lily and Remus asked concurrently.  
"Well, I kind of figured it out from the fact that Jimmy called you Moony, and how you were sick last week..." But truth be told, Honey simply had always had a knack for seeing through people.  
"Wow, Lily managed to figure it out. It took her much longer though. But she's the only other person besides the three guys... and Severus Snape." He began to attempt the spell. "Oh, and I have a feeling this one girl knows as well, I can't seem to place her name— she's Cassandra Trelawney's great-grandaughter." Remus opened his book to page 394, "and a Seer."  
"Don't you think she's a fake?" Lily asked, finally managing her spell.  
"I really thought she was," Remus looked up, "But this morning in Charms class, she startled me by knowing my favorite color, my class schedule, and a various other things." With a swish and flick he properly transfigured the book as well. "It'd be horrible if she does know. She doesn't appear to like me very much." He went back to his book.  
"Mmmkay...so much for this being kept secret." Lily rolled her lime eyes.

That weekend Severus was brooding about how he'd gotten an A minus on his Potions quiz, when he decided to go behind the greenhouses to see if Sirius was back there with any girls. He'd already gotten him detention twice that year. However, today no one was back there. There was, however, a large suspicious looking plant that appeared to be looking at him funny. Devil's snare, it looked like, but out in the sunlight it was impossible. This left only one other possibility: angel's snare, a hybrid plant in the same family as Devil's snare, only it could stand sunlight and had a strange hatred for teenagers. The plant suddenly shot out a bunch of vines which wrapped themselves around Severus, imprisoning him  
It did look to be the end for the boy, but the vines were so preoccupied with Severus that they did not notice the heroic figure that slipped in.  
"Leave him alone!" said Honey as she through a rock at the plant. They then went after her as well but she did a leap and caught her hands on a tree branch high above, landing her feet on a vine. Quickly she did a kick and her stilleto heels busted the thick vine through. Taking a dagger from her garter, she began slicing away the vines that came toward her, hanging on the tree by one hand. She swung herself up on the tree branch and pointed her wand at the enemy. Her eyes suddenly began to glow and turn a strange blue color. Her necklace as well, only it did not turn blue.  
"_Dyeplantio_!" she whispered, and the vines shriveled and ceased to move. But Severus was still buried beneath the debris! As he lay there, he suddenly he felt a tug at the back of his shirt. A golden retriever was pulling him out of danger, but Honey was no where in sight! The dog dragged him around the greenhouses and to underneath a tree by the Hogwart's lake.  
"You're an animagus!" he whispered, as the golden retriever turned back into a girl before anyone else could see.  
"You won't tell anyone?" she asked.  
"Oh, of course not. I— " he looked like he was about to say something about himself, "Thanks...Honey."  
So Honey and Severus spent the rest of the day under the tree learning more about eachother and stuff.  
"Well, I was adopted." Honey started, "I had 2 loving Texan parents, but I was born over here. So when my parents were murdered I went on a search to find my real parents. I found out my mother had been a half-veela by the name of Debbie Dumbledore, so I came to Hogwarts to be with my granddaddy. We're still searching for my father, but I swore on my life that I would find him," her voice grew into a sob, she took a crackly breath, "and I will find him." She wiped at her eyes, and looked into his. "But of all things in the world, I hate the dark arts! The dark arts killed my adoptive parents! I could never fall in love with a guy who liked the dark arts," she gazed at the lake side and leaned on his shoulder.  
"Yeah, uh, I hate 'em too." He said bewilderedly and turned to face her.  
They leaned in closer, their lips were almost touching when—  
A huge scary black dog bounded out from behind the bushes and pounced on Severus, growling threateningly. Snape whipped out his wand.  
"Severus, don't hurt him; he's just friendly," Honey giggled, letting the sun catch on the rays of her hair and her laughter ring out across the lake like music. "Come here boy!"  
The dog froze for a moment and bounded over to her.  
James suddenly came running through the bushes. "I'll save you—oh!" He spotted Honey petting the doggy. He quickly put away his wand and smiled. "Looks like...er— Snuffles likes you."  
"This is your dog?" Honey asked.  
"Yep, seriously."  
Peter's face suddenly materialized over James shoulder and began laughing incredibly psychotically. "Seriously! Haha!"  
"When did you get here?" Severus asked.  
"I've been here the whole time," Peter said truthfully.  
"Awww...look at the doggy!" Rosmerta and some other random hot Ravenclaw chicks came over. "Is he yours, James?"  
Peter's surveyed the girls twitchily. His buckteeth stuck out of his smile."Yeah, James rescued him from imminent death in the muggle pound." He put his hand on James' shoulder.  
"Wow, really? Awwwww, how sweet!" squealed a random hot chick.  
"I had no idea you were so sensitive!" said another.  
Peter scoffed. "Sensitive... James Potter is italian for sensitive! Why just the other day..."  
Meanwhile, Severus slinked away unhappily, hanging his head because of the imposing people, and because he no idea what the heck was going on. Honey however, knew exactly what was going on.  
"You know," she said to the hot chicks, "the school store just got in a new shipment of googly-eyed quills. They're on sale 2 for a sickle."  
Note: A googly eyed quill is a very fluffy feather quill that has been died various Lisa-frankesque colors and has a pair of plastic googly- eyes stuck at the top. They're the inspiration for the fluffy, googly eyed pens that some muggle girls like buy. Also, Hogwarts, of course, has a school store because students don't know which color ties and scarves to buy until after they're sorted. As soon as the girlshad rushed off, Honey zapped the dog with a blast of a spell.  
"What..." asked James.  
"...the..." said Peter.  
"...heck?" asked Sirius.  
"You figured him out?" Remus pulled the invisibility cloak off his head.  
"Well, I should say so. I have half a mind to just go right up to grandp—the headmaster, and tell him all about y'all!" Honey put her hands on her hips. "But I ain't gonna do it cause it'd hypocrisy. But of all things you can use your powers for, this is the most demeanin' thing I ever did see!" She huffed out of sight.  
"The mo-ost demeanin' thang ah evah di-id see. Who does she think she is?" Peter scoffed. "Besides the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."  
"What is so demeaning about picking up chicks?" asked James.  
"I dunno, but we'd better keep an eye on her anyway."  
And thus the 5 of them became friends.


	3. The Dinner

Chapter 3 Peter, Remus, Sirius, and James followed Honey into the library, because she liked going to the library.  
"I'll have to meet up with you later." Remus said innocently. "I have to tutor Sybill Trelawney in Charms."  
"Syble is having trouble in Charms?" Honey asked half closing her eyes, untarnished by brash makeup. "That's funny, I've never noticed her struggling before."  
"Well, she will be after she fails next week's pop quiz and miss a few days when she catches bronchitis. I'll be surprised if that actually happens, but..." He opened his binder and took out the Maurader's Map, which he handed to Sirius. "Why would she ask for help if she didn't need it? See you guys later."  
"Isn't Trelawney that crazy bug eyed girl?" James asked, before glancing over at Lily's table. "Twerp alert," he said through his teeth.  
A fourth year Slytherin boy with neatly combed black hair was speaking to Lily in a rather flirtatious manner. He was quite a handsome and svelte for his age, but his curled smiled said he was anything but benelovent. He playfully handed the redhead an envelope and kissed her hand. He then began to walk toward Honey's table. As soon as Lily was out of earshot, Honey's perceptive hearing heard the boy mutter, "Prissy Mudblood." Honey frowned at the profanity. She wasn't a prude, she just thought it was mean.  
James instinctively brought out his wand and knocked the boy down the moment he noticed him. The kid spiritfully popped back up a moment later, still with a grin on his face.  
"Lovely to see you too Mr. Potter, but I am here for official business, not for fun." The boy was about 14, and his voice was still breaking. He suavely turned to Honey. "Good day."  
"Knock it off Reggie; she's too old for you." Sirius leaned back and casually let his hair fall into his eyes.  
"Who is this?" Honey smiled, but the glow didn't seem as overwhelming for this boy.  
Sirius put his handsome face in his hands. "This is Regulus Black...my little brother."  
"Not since you were blasted off the family tapestry." The boy's voice cracked. "Mum says I'm not supposed to talk to you but I'm making an exception because I'm on official business."  
"Well get it over with quick." Sirius spoke loudly.  
"You're getting into trouble again aren't you?" the boy sneered. James opened his symmetrical mouth to curse him but was cut off by Regulus's squeaking. "Ooooh, going to humiliate me like you do to Severus Snape? Go ahead, I am shaking with fear." He looked over at Lily perversely. Honey frowned, a few lines creasing her otherwise perfect face.  
"What is it, Reggie?" Sirius said through his teeth.  
"The honor committee is having an exclusive gathering for the cleverest students at Hogwarts and somehow you were placed on the list." He slickly hand him the invitation. "...As well as you Mr. Potter... Miss Astrid...maybe next year, Mr. Pettigrew..." He handed each invitation to its recipient respectfully with a disturbing smirk. "You can't take a date so don't even ask," he said with a hint of immaturity. He turned to James and began to speak thoughtfully. "But of course your little "tomato" will be there anyway, and she's the only one you want...she's the one that everyone wants, actually, even the Slytherin's are secretly in love with her. Yet there's really only one boy she ever talks to— Where is that boy, by the way...sick again? You'd think he was on a routine or something."  
"Vera--" James said ravishly, raising his wand. Regulus screamed and cowered behind the bookshelf.  
Honey put up her manicured hand. "Jimmy, please, none of your bullying."  
"Jimmy?" Regulus popped back up from behind the shelf. He turned to Honey. "They say I shouldn't talk to you because you're a Ravenclaw, but I just have to say I have never had the pleasure of meeting a woman so lovely." He kissed her lily-white hand. "Good day." He smirked at James and snickered, "Jimmy."  
"Wow, I can't believe I am one of the top 6th year students!" Honey exclaimed, despite the fact that she was years ahead of most her classmates.  
"I don't know if I can stand it...if all the 6th year prefects will be there," said Sirius, his silver eyes greyed with unease. "It means my cousin Narcissa, the Slytherin prefect, will be there."  
"You have other relatives here?" Honey asked curiously, her quick mind eager for more backstory on one of her knew best friends.  
"Two cousins, actually. They're sisters. The one's a snob, the other is a freakin' sadist, but they do have an older sister who's real nice. Naturally she's been disowned," Sirius shook his head.  
Honey looked him in the eye, but of course he had to look away because she was so pretty. "Well, if your cousin is so bad we had better keep an eye on her, hadn't we?"  
"Yes, I suppose so. But it also means that a few of my ex-girlfriends will be there."  
"Really?" Honey rested her head on her hand.  
"Alice, Tabitha, Christina, Britney, Florence..." he lowered his voice, "Lily."  
"You went out with—"  
"Shhhhh...only once, it was uncontrollable circumstances...before I knew how much he liked her. I would never ever betray a friend like that. Ever. —and nothing happened. Nothing at all. Really." The next day, in the evening, Honey and company had reached the special meeting room. On the table was an overhead projector and an unbelievable amount of various chips and dip. Severus was already sitting at the table when they walked in. James looked as if he was about to say something insulting, when Honey walked right over to the boy.  
"Do you mind if I?" Honey motioned to the chair right beside him. Severus noticed she was wearing a nice pink dress that went down to her knees, that had a design of roses at the hem, which was higher on one side. Her hair was in a nice updo with little star clips in it and two braids on one side while her bangs were kind of messy, but in a cool way. Her shoes were very small strappy platform sandals which had her own personal sign on them and her astrological symbol. Severus nodded and gave a hint of a smile! Sirius and James were wholly confused but took a seat farther down the table and began snacking on snacks.  
Next came in the Hufflepuff prefects, a dashing young man with short hair named Frank Longbottom and the adorably round faced Alice Meadows. Then came Lily and Remus, looking (to James' dismay) very comfortable with each other. After them came a discontented looking blonde, wearing lots of gaudy expensive jewelry, who wrinkled her nose as soon as she saw Lily. With her was a solemn looking boy that did not blink, speak, or show any signs of actually being alive other than that he was walking. They were the Slytherin prefects.  
Regulus then came in, prattling a reason for being there, as he was a fourth year. Next was Sybyl Trelawney in a garish silver dress and shimmering violet shawl. She had put on twice as much tacky costume jewelry than normal, and had tied her frizzy hair back in a green headscarf. She glanced around as if she had happened to wonder in.  
"What are you doing here?" Remus asked inquisatively.  
"She's a top student." Regulus said, running his fingers through his luxurious black hair, and then stopping as soon as he noticed his brother simultaneously and unknowingly doing the same thing.  
"I thought you were failing Charms?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow as the girl sat down beside him. She gasped and looked to the ceiling for a moment. She mumbled something inaudible and shrugged. He shrugged.  
The blonde girl took a seat as far away from Lily as she could possibly get. She glared at Lily loathingly, and whispered something to the other prefect and burst into laughter, whereas the other prefect blinked, (still having made no vocal sound.) Sirius noticed this and decided to break in.  
"So are you still dating that Lucifer guy?" Sirius asked devilishly.  
"No, I'm dating Lucius, the bloody rich, rising ministry official." Narcissa wrinkled her nose, causing a few premature wrinkles  
"What's the difference?" James jested, but it didn't have as much of affect without Peter there to shamelessly rupture with laughter.  
"I'm surprised you haven't caught hypothermia from all that ice he's bought you," said Sirius, looking at her bracelets, necklace, earrings, etc.  
"Well, you do know that Slytherins make better money," Narcissa said haughtily.  
"But Gryfindor's make better lovers," said Sirius, catching Alice's eye.  
Severus rolled his eyes. "Maybe we should start the meeting before this grows violent?" Honey nodded in agreement, fearing that James might do something drastic if Narcissa did something to his best friend.  
"We have to wait for the Ravenclaw prefects," Alice said kindly. The door handle slowly began to turn. "That must be them."  
But the Ravenclaw prefects did not enter. Instead, a long white leg stretched out from behind the door, followed by the girl it was attached to. Pitch-black shoulder length hair fell unbound and carefully styled. High arched eyebrows topped of heavy lidded eyes, giving the young woman a dangerous, sultry look. A sly smirk crossed her blood red lips as she sauntered over toward the head of the table.  
"Bellatrix..." there was a soft murmur throughout the table.  
"It's lovely to see you, Bella." Regulus said deeply. His voice grew into a squeak again. "My goodness, it's like a whole family reunion, right Cissy?"  
  
Bellatrix flipped her hair. "I'm sorry to say Tabitha Stevens and Joey Lawrence have taken ill and will not be able to attend." She had an annoying accent strangely reminiscent of Elizabeth Hurley in Bedazzled. "In fact, all of the other people invited have taken ill."  
  
"Did they get a whiff of that perfume you slathered on?" Sirius asked insultingly.  
  
Belatrix ignored him and sashayed around the table. "I wasn't going to come but I didn't think I could trust my sister," she gave Narcissa a kiss on the cheek and turned to the solemn boy, "with my man," Bellatrix patted Rudolphus on the head, who blinked.  
  
"It's nice that you could make it," Alice said kindly.  
  
"Hello Alice," Bellatrix smiled, looking beautiful but frightening. The whole room was startled when she whipped out a wand and sent a spark a foot off from Alice's head. Luckily, it only conjured up another chair between Alice and Frank, smoothly pushing their chairs apart. Bellatrix glided over to the chair and prepared to sit down when Sybil gasped, "No!" Bellatrix boredly looked over at her and put her hands up in question.  
  
"There will be thirteen! The first to rise will be the first to die...." Sybil whispered, lightning going off behind her head. Or maybe it was just the light reflecting off her outfit.  
  
"Well... we'll have to make sure it is someone we won't mind losing." Bellatrix glanced over at Lily. Before anyone could protest, Bellatrix turned her own chair around backwards and stradled it like a jock. "So what are we here for?"  
  
Frank waved his wand at the overhead projector on the table, which then projected a picture of a graph. He used his wand to create a red dot of light on the screen. "As you know, we are living in dark times, and once again the ministry has once again cut our funding...you can see in this next picture, Potions Mistress Professor Eden has been recycling potions for each class (rather dangerous.)" He clicked to the next picture. "I'm sure you recall the panic when they started supplying us with cheap muggle Kleenex...." There was a soft shudder throughout the room. He clicked to the next picture. "Then there's our sports equipment, which speaks for itself." He flipped to a picture of their quaffel, a floating red ball held together with about a whole role of duct tape. "Several attempts to raise money have only led to greater losses." He clicked to a picture of last year's school musical, Owls, "The other day, our headmaster told me a most shocking piece of information—" he clicked to the next page, which showed a crudedly looped animation of a stick figure. "The school is practically broke."  
  
Narcissa fainted, face first into a bowl of guacamole.  
  
Frank continued, "There has also been talk, much to our headmasters protest, of canceling the quidditch program." The table was suddenly awake, except Narcissa, whose only comment was a few bubbles in the guacamole, and Rudolphus, who gave a blink of concern.  
  
"What, no they can't!" James exclaimed. "We have to stop them!"  
  
"Why do you think we've gathered you here? We are the cleverest students of our age, if we truly wish to keep this running...we must find a way to raise money." Frank grabbed a handful of cheetos.  
  
"What exactly did you have in mind?" Remus asked, reaching for a bowl of Doritos.  
  
"Well, there was a suggestion that we might be having a Costume Ball for Halloween..." Alice said kindly. She popped the lid off a Pringles canister.  
  
"Yee haw, I love dances!" Honey giggled, "and I am sure that if we all united we could plan a heckuva jollification!"  
  
"Here here!" Regulus held up his water glass. "I'm sure I could convince mumsy to donate." Thus our talented students sorted out all matters of the dance. They got along rather well for all being in different houses, until there was a soft knock at the door.  
  
"Come in!" Regulus called. The person responded with another knock and a violent jiggle of the door handle. "Will somebody get that?"  
  
Lupin was about to, when Sybill shrieked and held him down with surprising vigor. "First to rise is the first to die!"  
  
"Idiotic superstition." Severus said, his hair shining with bravado, but everyone remained frozen in their chairs as the knocking continued. Finally Sirius spoke, throwing back his glorious hair as he spoke."I'll risk it, everyone's got to die sometime," he said as Bellatrix grinned intently.  
  
"Sirius, wait!" James held his pal down.  
  
"Are you serious? You actually believe this superstition?" asked Lily from across the table.  
  
"No, I'm not Sirius, I'm James," said James seriously, "I just had a bad vibe."  
  
"So we're all just going to sit here for the rest of our lives" Lily asked and turned to the Slytherins. "Even you're afraid?"  
  
"We are not afraid of anything, you prissy little Mudblood," Narcissa whispered, suddenly looking up, her now green mask showing all hatred, her teeth having globs of guacamole in them as she spoke. Remus gave Lily a sympathetic look. James was heading for his wand, but Lily gave him a hard kick underneath the table.  
  
"Let me help you get that off your face...although that actually is very good for your skin." Lily withdrew her wand. Narcissa obviously saw this as some type of threat and went for her wand as well.  
  
"Please! No duels here..." Regulus shouted. He turned to Lily and Honey with a sly grin. "but I wouldn't mind a catfight."  
  
"I'm just going to help." Lily raised her wand and painlessly zapped all the guacamole from Narcissa's face, getting rid of some of her ugly makeup, acne, and premature wrinkles as well. Meanwhile Honey had ingeniously wheeled her chair over to the door. Bob Chang entered, curious as to what was going on.  
  
"Wotcher, Bob! Great to see ya!"  
  
"Come sit down with us, Bob! We were just hoping for a fourteenth member..."  
  
"My that cast looks good on you, Bob!"  
  
"Just sit down, Chang." Severus conjured him a chair. Bob put his hand on the back of the chair. "Well, I was really just looking for my quidditch cleats, but I suppose I have time for a chat and chips." Bellatrix gave loud mocking laugh and said evily, "Well, I suppose you would have. After all, you broke up with Rosmerta last Tuesday."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.  
  
"Bob, I think if you had the brains to figure it out, you would have actually been invited to this meeting." Bob torrented out of the room in tears. Sirius called his sadistic raven haired cousin something.  
  
"Rudy, did you hear what my cousin just said to me?"  
  
Then Rudolphus apparently snapped out of whatever trance he was in, and said the first words he said all evening, which just happened to be a curse. "Tarenteggella!" he pointed his wand at Bellatrix's cousin, who hopped onto the table as his legs suddenly began to dance around. However, he had cursed Regulus instead of Sirius, so it there wasn't really any point. James and Sirius cracked up, Narcissa and Bellatrix were utterly amused, despite it being the wrong cousin. Remus was looking sympathetic, while Severus looked annoyed that he was dancing in the chips and dip and splashing salsa all over everyone.  
  
"Nixdancio!" Lily, Honey, and Alice shouted at the same time. The triple counter curse knocked him back violently; luckily, Honey performed a quick levitation charm so that he was not hurt.  
  
"Impressive," Bellatrix said, watching the boy frozen in mid air, "But I'll bet my broom no one can't make him break dance in mid-air."  
  
Immediately, several spells came shooting at the boy. He began dancing like mad, but still enjoying the attention. Eventually he began to show signs of weariness as his veins began to pulsate like mad and stick out of his skin. The boy was about to faint.  
  
"That's enough!" Every looked at James in disbelief as he stood up and dispelled the curse. While the youngest Black was on the ground, (well, the table) he still appeared trying to dance. James scratched his head. "Sorry, kid, I can't stop it—Lily, I know you're the best at charms, will you help me—" "Mmmkay," she said nervously, "Only because I want to help him." She stood up and took Regulus's arm as James took his other. Just before they left, Regulus stuck out his tongue at Sirius, who scowled furiously.  
  
"That little boy...was the first to stand up." Sibyl said mystically. Sirius looked after the door for a moment, and left without a word.  
  
Honey wandered out onto the balcony after everyone had left, and was suddenly struck when she saw Severus's white face sillohetted against the night sky as he gazed out across the Scottish scenery.  
"Howdy," Honey said, walking up to him. "I can't say this has been a nice evening but it's been an informative one."  
"Go away," he whispered.  
Honey turned to leave, but thought better of it."Have I done somethin', horribly wrong to you? 'Cause if I have I am absolutely sorry." She spoke slowly. Severus said nothing. She continued, a single tear rolling down her face. "Its just, when we first met, on the train, I thought we were kinda getting' along or somethin', but I guess it was just my good old Texas naiveté. In fact, I've never seen us actually argue, but still there's something just blocking my way." He turned to her, eyes glistening in the moonlight. She kept talking, "I just wanted you to know that I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to judge you. And I know we've been through similar things, so in case you wanna..." He wiped the tear from her face; they were very close now. "...If you wanna talk or something..." Her eyes widened as her voice trailed off. Slowly, Severus leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. As soon as the kiss was broken, they each looked completely surprised at what had happened. Nervously, he kissed her again, this time longer. The moment after, Honey smiled and pulled him to her again. 


	4. Attack of the Dialogue Tags

Chapter 5

Severus and Honey had the time of there lives those next few months. There relationship was not kept in secret because they didn't want to end up like Romeo and Juliet. One weekend, in Hogsmeade, the lovers were running around town as lover's do.  
"Good day, Narcissa." Severus said as he and Honey sat down under a tree in the park. Narcissa was sitting on a fence putting on some lipstick.  
"There's really no reason why I should tell why I'm here, its very impolite to pry." She sneered.  
"I don't believe we were..." Honey looked back at her for a moment, and turned her amber eyes back to Severus.  
"If you must know, I'm waiting for my boyfriend, Lucious. He's taking me out to some place expensive, the boy just can't live without me." She smiled and shook her head. "but really its none of your business."  
"Nope," said Severus, putting his arm around his girlfriend, "What the heck is that?" Severus widened his dark eyes.  
A gigantic bouquet of flowers, a huge box of choclates, and a big velvet case were stumbling across the grass. They fell to the ground revealing a teenage house elf with big green eyes. The elf muttered something profane under his breath and snapped his fingers. The items floated into the air on a bed of smoke.  
"Oh, the poor dear. I can't stand how people are so heartless as to keep slaves like that." Honey looked away, her hair quivering.  
The elf began to take a few deep breaths and walk slowly forward.  
"Are you alright?" Honey asked.  
"Dobby must fulfill his master's bidding," he winced, in a squeaky and shrill voice. "But Dobby does not want to. Dobby is bad. Dobby does not understand why he would not want to do whatever his master says."  
"Its because slavery sucks," said Honey, smiling at him with her smile.  
The elf blink for a few moments, realizing that if a lady such as she believed this, it must be true. He kept these thoughts to himself and pushed along to where Narcissa was waiting.  
"Master Lucious is unable to meet his lady today." Dobby handed her the gifts.  
"Not again..."  
"Master Lucious Malfoy is...sorry. Master would like his feelings best to be expressed— "The elf gritted his teeth. "expressed in—no! no! no!" he began beating his head against a wall. Honey quickly zapped away the wall and caught him as he pitched forward. "—a ballad."  
Narcissa's lips quivered wearily. Dobby cleared his throat and suddenly his voice was a beautiful baritone pitch. Beautiful, but rather odd considering what he was singing. "_Every night in my dreams/I see you, I feel you/That is how I know you go on/Far across the distance/And spaces between us/You have come to show you go on/Near, far, wherever you are/I believe that the heart does go on..."_  
  
The house elf finished his song with perfect pitch, getting applause from many passing wizards and witches who had gotten the wrong idea about Cissy and Dobby.  
Narcissa blushed crimson knitting her malevolent eyebrows together. "This is not the first time that git's stood me up. He's probably bleaching his hair or something. You just tell Mr. Malfoy that—" she opened the velvet box. "I love him so so much and count the days until our next rondevous."  
Dobby nodded and dissappeared with a snap.  
Honey looked over her shoulder. "He stands you up with nothing but a singing house-elf and some heart shaped necklace, yet you're still going to go out with him? I mean its not even a red heart shaped necklacke, its blue. What book for dummies has he been readin'?"  
Narcissa shrugged. "Its not like I'm going to marry the guy or anything." She strutted off, flashing her blue diamond heart necklace.  
Honey and Severus moved closer, now that they were alone and he picked up his acoustic guitar, which had before been used for sulky songs, and began to sing to her. "Honey you, are my shining star, and don't you go away/I wanna be, right here where you are, until my dying day/So many have tried, tried to find,/A love like yours an mine, yeah baby/Girl don't you relaise that your hypnotised,/It makes me love you more and more each time, yeah baby..."  
"Hey Severus," said an evil Slytherin name Sidney Zabini who suddenly walked on screen. "is it true that she's only dating you for your money?—no wait you don't have any. Then is it for your good looks—wait, can't be that either..." He or she burst into laughter.  
Severus muttered a jinx under his breath, which suddenly caused the student to begin singing "Get Down on the Night" and disco away.  
"Well that was random." Severus smirked, but Honey's mouth was agape.  
"Sevy! Sevy, that was a dark arts spell, wasn't it?" Honey trembled.  
"Uh...its not what it looks like!" he exclaimed.  
"Why, Sevy? Why???" she wailed jumping up from the grass.  
"I—" he started, coming after her.  
Honey put her head in her hands. "—I love you, but I just can't go against all my principles. I just can't!" she cried. "Goodbye forever..." She kissed him, longer and more passionately than she'd ever kissed anyone. As soon as their mouths parted, she ran away in flurry of tears. Just at that precise moment, a large motorcycle drove up beside her.  
"Honey, are you alright?" Sirius asked, stopping the bike and stepping toward her, his black hair falling elegantly in his face.  
"Oh, Sirius!" she cried and fell into his arms. He gently stroked her wavy honey colored hair. Snape looked as if he was about to die, staring at his worst enemy embraced the love of his life. Sirius gave him a wink and a smile before turning sympathetic again.  
"Come on, Honey. Let's get out of here."  
"Anywhere but here, however..." she said, hopping on the bike and conjuring up two helmets for each of them. "Safety first! Yeehaw!" They sped off.  
Severus's mind sorted what had just happened, the shock and impact of the kiss had left him dazed. "Honey...oh Honey!" He dashed after the bike; his skinny legs like a cheetah. Wizards pointed at him as he passed; one pulled out an hourglass to time him. He reached the Hogsmeade theatre just in time to see a splash of autumn gold dissapear through the door.  
"Honey wait!"  
The door snapped shut, and Severus did not have a ticket anyway. "Honey please come out," he begged, pulling at the handle, strangling it. "Honey...Honey!" He pulled out his wand but dropped it in despair. He went to the front of the building staring up at the window, threw his arms up in despair and screamed, "HONEY!!!"

Defeated and miserable, Severus went into The Hog's Head, nostrils flared and eyes tearing. Taking the apple from his pocket he prepared to bite it, when it suddenly jumped from his hands and rolled across the ground. He chased after it until it stopped at a pair of black high heels. Severus's dark eyes followed up from the hem of long Slytherin robes...with a slit cut high on one side. The girl slowly wiggled one figure, signaling him to get up.  
"Bellatrix..." Severus breathed. "What are you doing here?"  
"Seems like the perfect place for the answer to a prayer."  
"Black, we're in a tavern."  
"Right. Get me a drink, I'm thirsty," she said dryly.  
Severus signaled for the bartender and said to Bellatrix. "What do you mean answer to my prayer?"  
She sank down into a chair and began to drabble on her low, Liz Hurleyesque accent. "Oh, come on. I have to wonder why you haven't cursed him to oblivion. I mean, first he tries to feed you to a werewolf and then he steals your girl...oooh, that boy should be locked up in Azkaban." Bellatrix's chair turned toward the window, hiding her face from view. "He's my kin, you know—my cousin, though it pains me to admit it. He walked out on my auntie last summer after a little dispute. I think it was over a girl..." She swiveled back around and narrowed her hooded eyes. "...a trashy muggle girl. From what I've heard he's been living over James Potter's garage ever since." She gave an evil cackle and leaned back. "Anyways, do you Rosmerta Crawford, the 7th year Ravenclaw girl."  
"Rosmerta is that the one with the—"  
"Yes. Now, do you recall who just broke up with Bob Chang?" She grinned. "Rosmerta is a wounded gazelle whom I can snag for you faster than you can say Pumpkin Juice. Not to mention she is on close terms with Sappy or whatever her name is. Sappy will be green with envy if you take blondie to the costume ball." Bellatrix sighed dreamily. "Of course, I'd go with you myself to make her jealous, but I'm already seeing Rudolphus," she made a face, "Creepy little twerp...but he's pureblood and pure bloody rich."  
"And what would you want in exchange?"  
She glanced up, her eyes gleaming evily. "Information..."

Honey and Rosmerta, both suffering from recent breakups, took the time to lean on eachother.  
"So, on a scale of 1-10: Gustav Stebbins."  
"3...plus 6!"  
They giggled.  
"Did he ask you?" Honey asked.  
"Yeah, but I told him I'd think about it. I was kind of hoping to go with—don't tell Lily— James Potter."  
"Really? That'd be excellent, since you're my best friend and James is Sirius's best friend! We'd all be best friends!" They strolled past the whomping willow. Honey eyed it gently.  
Rosmerta jumped as two humongous eyes stared at her from behind a tree.  
"I was crystal gazing and was informed that I will be attending the Costume Ball," said Sibyll  
"That's wonderful," said Rosmerta, catching her breath.  
"Well, who am I to argue with the spirits? However, I must find a boy to go with."  
"Ohhhhhhhh," Rosmerta and Honey looked at eachother, "Do you have anyone in mind?"  
"I try to take it upon myself not to cloud my Inner Eye with the unbelievers that walk about this castle," she sighed. "but its not as if they would approach me, because they are—intimidated by my Gift."  
"Don't say another word; of course we'll help you get prettied up!" Honey exclaimed.  
Rosmerta cut in, "As long as you promise to listen to us, we are more experienced in this area."  
Sibyll took a deep breath, "All right."  
Rosmerta tossed all her books down. "Okay, I think we'll definitely have to do something about that hair? Wasn't there a de-frizzing spell in Cosmowitch or do we have to buy a potion?"  
"I'll have to check," Honey said breathlessly, "As for makeup, everybody knows subtle is best. We need to enhance her natural beauty."  
"Of course," Rosmerta laughed, "we don't want her looking like some ten-sickle-floozy!"  
"You could do with some press-ons." Honey compared hands. Suddenly a tear ran down her face. "Severus... always hated my long nails. We'd would always have cute little quarrels about them!" She sniffled.  
"But first, of all things we have to get rid of these!" Rosmerta snatched the glasses off the girl's face and pitched them into the whomping willow. "Wow, you look better already. But, ugh, those eyebrows!"  
Therefore, the Honey and Rosmerta set to work in the Ravenclaw common room. First, they plucked her eyebrows and applied some neutral eye shadow to her eyes, which were striking sapphires. Then she was given a matt pink lipstick and light rouge. At some point, Lily walked in to help with the de- frizzing charm.  
"Wow, you look beautiful!" she said as she entered, "Guess what? I have a date for the ball." Lily smiled. "but you'll never guess who it is, I've never really expressed my fondness for him."  
"James Potter?" Honey and Rosmerta asked simultaneously.  
"For goodness sake, no, why does everyone think that?" She brought out her wand. "But you're not far off. It's Remus. Even though he runs around with Potter and Black, he's really one of the brightest and nicest boys in school. We've spent so much time together, being prefects and all."  
"He asked you?" Honey asked interogatively.  
"No, I asked him. It is the 70's afterall." She shrugged, and turned to the girl in the chair. "So do you want your hair to be slightly wavy or entirely straight?"  
"Make it straight for now, we can always add more body later," Rosmerta said, glancing her up and down, "speaking of adding more body, could you bring me that box of tissues?"  
"What do you have a cold?" Sybill asked. The girl's laughed and shook their heads. Honey applied some more lipstick to her face, while Rosmerta used a severing charm on some of her school uniform.  
"Please don't tell me you've all used that lipstick," Lily said, knitting her eyebrows. "Oh, no, how many times do I have to tell you not to share makeup! I'm hoping this is at least your own hairbrush?—oh, good. Aren't you cutting that skirt a little short?" Lily asked.  
Rosmerta shook her head."It's the same length as mine."  
"That being the my point." Lily waved her wand in a matter-of-fact way. "Now, Sybill, you are going to have to use lot's of soap to get this makeup off, otherwise you'll get horrible acne. Mmmkay? " Lily said, batting the air as she worked the charm. "Oh no, there's a wasp in here."  
Sibyll gasped."Oh dear," she said in a tragic voice, grabbing for the Cosmowitch magazine. "That's a horrible omen. Let me help you get rid of it."  
  
swat smack crash  
  
"Ow..."  
"Oh, I'm so sorry, dear!" Sybyll exclaimed, "I can't see a thing without my glasses."

Later that day, after thrashing and pounding the Gryfindor team in a heart pounding quidditch match, which the Ravenclaws won, Honey was approached by James as she came out of the locker room. "Hey, Honey! Want to go to the ball with me?"  
"I'm sorry James but I'm already going with Sirius." She shrugged.  
James forced a smile at his best friend's name. "Oh, well then I'm happy for you both. But what am I supposed to do?"  
"Well Rosmerta sure was hoping for you to ask her."  
"Well then how come she's meandering down the hall with Severus Snape?"  
"What?!" Honey cried sadly, catching a glimpse of them. "Rosy?"  
"Its alright, my friends are all doing that too." He hugged her, "first its Remus and Lily, now you and Sirius...what next, Peter and McGonagall?"  
"McGonagall?"  
James tussled his hair violently as his face turned red. "Did I just say that outloud?"  
"Well, why don't you use Sirius to pick up chicks?"  
"Nah, Darwin Patil's cat just had kittens. I need something cuter." James pouted, staring her down.  
"I'm not taking part in the seduction of innocent girls, Jimmy."  
"Excuse me, Miss. But I believe I've dropped my quill!" Regulus's voice cracked from across the field.  
"My dear, I believe you threw it down in front of my path." A beautiful super model was speaking with Regulus Black in a misty voice.  
"But I need it back! Could you pick it up for me?" Regulus sneezed.  
"Don't do it!" Honey hollered.  
"Do I know you from somewhere?" James inquired.  
"You indeed do know her," Honey alleged.  
"Merlin's beard! Its you!" Regulus shrieked.  
"Who else would I be, dear?" Syvill demanded.  
"Great game, Honey!" Lily said, as she and Remus made there way over to the group.  
"Excuse me, but I believe that Miss Trelawney and I were having a private conversation... so, uh, nice weather isn't it?" James elucidated.  
"Yes— and as for the question you are about to ask: yes," Sybill clarified, bending down to pick up Regulus's quill.  
"Alright!" James exclaimed.  
"What's going on?" Remus asked, looking rather disconcerted.  
"Well, looks like the Maurader's are all paired up with chicks for the dance—'cept Peter of course," James interjected.  
"I heard he was going with McGonagall," Regulus cooed.  
"What?!" James squealed.  
"Just kidding," Regulus piped, slinking away.  
"Something wrong, dear?" Sybbil lisped.  
Remus looked at James and Sybille with an expression of slight horror.  
"What's wrong Moony, jealous?" James grunted.  
"Actually I think it's the way you're all 'elucidating.' Or else maybe it's just that you have a crush on our Transfiguration professor." Lily said, a slight smile crossing her glossless lips.  
"I didn't mean—I—I—You have a sick mind, Evans!" James gesticulated.  
"James, do not speak to Lily in a such a way. Her time with us is short enough." Sybill gazed at her as if she were a dying relative, then snapped back to her significant other. "Oh, James dear, you're going to meet me in the library after dinner tonight. You'll trip on Mrs. Norris and break your glasses; I'm hoping you've memorized that repairo charm." She wandered over to a classroom.  
"Uh, okay." James raised an eyebrow. "Uh...dear? That's the wrong class."  
"Well, looks like we're in for an interesting rest of the school year," Honey said, tossing back her hair.  
"I should think so," said Lily. But as she watched James tenderly lead the batty 16 year-old to her correct classroom, Miss Evans suddenly felt a strange twinge in the bellows of her heart of gold...


	5. Test of Friendship

Chapter 5

So James and Sybill continued to see eachother, as did Sirius and Honey, and Remus and Lily, and Severus and Rosmerta. Anyways, things were rather chilly at Hogwarts for awhile. Until one day, a rat who shall remain nameles presented James with some information about a certain redhead and a certain boy named after a certain star.  
"FAMILY REUNION, YOU TOLD ME!"  
"Prongs I'm sorry—"  
"Last time I checked dinner and a show with a gorgeous redhead of no relation to you is not a family reunion! I mean I thought it was strange to come back from a family reunion with a black eye, BUT I TRUSTED YOU BECAUSE—"  
"You didn't get this mad at Moony."  
"Moony didn't lie to me, and he certainly hasn't made a move on her!"  
"I didn't—"  
"Then why'd she sock you?"  
"..." Sirius blinked. "This was a year ago! I had thought you were over her!"  
James turned away disgustedly and began walking toward the fat lady's painting.  
Sirius looked at the Maurader's map, and widened his eyes. "Uh, someone's there, we'd better wait. Let's go the library or something."  
"What does it matter if someone's there, it not after hours." James continued walking.  
"I really think we should wait," Sirius began pushing him back.  
"What is going on now?" James asked as he burst into the hall and gasped.  
Standing outside the entrance to the Gryfindor tower were two embracing figures, talking softly to eachother. The shorter of the two seemed relatively upset, and the taller was trying to comfort her.  
James stood in shock, his eyebrows quivering.  
The two people hugged very closely and the shorter stood up on tiptoes and kissed the boy on the cheek. Then the taller went into the Gryfindor common room, while the other went off down the hall.  
"Sorry you had to see that, man." Sirius put a hand on his friends shoulder.  
James was breathing hard and ruffling his hair. "I didn't they were really—I thought she just felt sorry for him—" He and Sirius hugged before realizing they were guys and this type of thing was not macho.  
"Oh, my I'm sorry am I interupting something?" a creepy voice made them jump. Sibyll was standing right behind them.  
"No." James smiled.  
"Oh, James, that's you! I thought you were Alice!" Sibyll laughed, blind without her glasses.  
Peter materialized behind Sybill's shoulder. "James does not look like a girl! James Potter is the epitome of macho!"  
"Thankyou, Peter. Padfoot, has Remus gone to bed yet? I really don't want to face him today."  
"Yep," Sirius pointed to the map.  
"What's this about?" asked Sibyll.  
"Let's go in and I'll explain."  
So the four were in the Gryfindor common room when, suddenly Lily appeared in the entrance, green eyes leering, a nail file in her hand, scraping violently at the enamel in a way much out of character for this girl.  
"What's going on?" James asked.  
"Dance is rescheduled," said Lily, plowing through the room, "Move, Potter."  
"Why's it rescheduled?" James asked.  
"Bellatrix..." Lily breathed.  
"Jimmy, Sirius, Peter, Sybill have you heard?" Honey rushed in to the Gryfindor common room. "That dance has been rescheduled to a full moon."  
"Other houses are not allowed in here!" Lily snapped. "Same goes for you, Trelawney."  
Sibyll whispered something to James and smiled.  
"What do you think this is, the Leaky Cauldron?" The girls picked up their book bags while Lily's green eyes searched the room. "Why is that light on? If this weren't the wizarding world you'd be wasting electricity."  
"Oh...what were we thinking?" James said sarcastically. Peter laughed.  
Honey looked at James, then Peter, and then at Lily. "Peter will you walk me to my dormitory?" Honey batted her eyes.  
"Oh heck yah!" Peter stuttered and they left.  
"I'll walk you to your dorm." Sirius said to Sybill.  
"Why is that light still on?" Lily seeded, plunking down onto the couch.  
Sirius' eyes flashed as he snapped his fingers and clicked off every light in the room.  
Lily grinded down at her nails. "Be back before 7, Fonzi."  
"What?" Sirius spun around.  
"Must be a muggle reference." James whispered.  
The people left, and James came up right behind Lily. "So is this a hormonal thing or did you let your boyfriend nibble on your ear?  
  
"Cold, even for you, Potter," she said, biting her curling lip. "Did you know I woke up this morning with "Die Mudblood" scrawled in blood across my bed curtains?" James tried to put a comforting arm around her shoulder, she jerked away. "Blood! I mean can you think of the diseases? And the poor chickens that were killed! This person completely disorganized my trunk. They emptied out my bottle of disinfectant and replaced it with egg whites. Then to top it all off they ate Cheetos and proceeded to touch all my homework papers. They just don't know when to quit. And then that—girl—continues to predict my death every time she lays eyes on me, and I'm starting to believe her. You know how she talks about the Grim? I think I've seen it, around campus. Of course, sometimes I also see it with Bambi...is that a death omen too?"  
"Who the heck is Bambi?" James asked.  
"Bellatrix Black is obviously part of this scheme: she didn't reschedule the dance for weather reasons, she rescheduled it to drive me insane. Who did she find out it from? Who did she get the password from? Family?" Lily broke into a whisper."Are you sure all of your pack can be trusted?"  
James shook his head. "Listen, Sirius is the most loyal and caring best friend anyone could ever have."  
"So I hear you can predict the future...can you read minds too?" Sirius's deep voice drifted over to them from the entrance to the common room.  
"...I predict you're going to drop you quill sometime in the near future." Sybill replied. Sirius smirked.  
"Sirius, if you drop that quill you can bet you won't have enough future to predict!" James turned back to Lily. "He's such a dog—but he's no traitor."  
"Dog! Haha!" Peter materialized over James' shoulder.  
"Where did you come from?" Lily asked, filing down to base of her nail and gasping in pain. "Ow. Well, believe what you wish. I've already sorted things out with Remus. I still, however, will be needing to find another boy to go with."  
"Sorry, Evans. How many times have I told you I am tay-ken. You should have asked me this question a long time—"  
"Peter, would you like to go to the ball with me?" Lily gave the chubby boy her most beautiful smile. He nodded twitchily.  
"Mmmkay, I'll see you then." She turned and turned back, her red hair swinging. "By the way, watch out for rats, this place is infested. I just saw one in the hall and it looked like it was trying to look up my skirt." She gave a nervous laugh. The two boys stared. "I'll inform the headmaster in the morning," she sighed, and went off to her dorm. James stared at the ceiling, biting his lip.  
Peter edged away. "You're not angry are you? Please don't be angry! Its just those eyes they're so green and irresistible!" Peter shouted.  
James blinked. "There's a wasp in here..." He brandished his Monster Book of Monsters. "Merlin's beard, its on your nose—"

The afternoon of the dance Honey was running around with safety pins, bobby pins, and other various things; helping as many girls as she could get ready. She went to the Gryfindor common room when they ran out of tissues. Sirius was the only one in there, as everyone else was getting ready, and it took him shorter time to look gorgeous.  
"Hi," she said sweetly, "looking forward to tonight?"  
"Yes," he said, looking at the fire, "Honey can I ask you something?"  
"Yes?"  
"Did you tell James that I went out with Lily?"  
"No, I would never."  
"I didn't think you would, but I wonder who else could have done it." He thought thoughtfully. "The only other people who I told were Peter and Remus, and Remus was on the other side of the school when James found out. Speaking of him, it sure sucks that he can't come to the dance."  
Suddenly it was as if a pink lightbulb appeared appeared over Honey's head, "Sirius, oh Sirius, I can't believe I never thought of it before!" she quickly went to her purse and pulled out a piece of paper folded like a swan, which she had copied from the library, and unfolded it. Sirius' grey eyes read the paper.  
"You can really do this?" he asked.  
"Yes, but we must hurry!" She grinned. "We'll get there faster on four legs."  
And so they ran. The two canine creatures bounded across the sunset horizon. Padfoot panted exhaustedly as the golden retriever effortlessly outran him. By the time he came up to the Whomping Willow, Honey was already human and prodding the secret knot with her stiletto heel. Sirius had no idea how she had managed to figure it out how to get in there.  
"Why don't you stay here?" she said, giving him and pat on the head, "keep watch?" Sirius barked in agreement.  
Honey hurried through the tunnel in her muggle jeans and stiletto heels until she came to the shrieking shack, where Remus Lupin was slumped over in a chair. He looked up as she burst into the room.  
"Honey you have to get out of here!" he held his hands out in front of him. "I'm dangerous!"  
"I didn't want to leave without you." She grabbed his wrists and looked him in the eye.  
"I'm a monster!" He cried as he eyes began to change to yellow. "I'm a werewolf and there's nothing anyone can do. I'll be transforming any minute!!!"  
"Oh you're not a monster, Remy. But you're right... we can't change the werewolf thing, and although you'd have a good chance in the costume contest, the judges might be a teensy bit ruffled if you ate them. But those aren't our only choices."  
"What do you mean?" he asked, looking at her curiously.  
Honey smiled, showing her flawless teeth. "Well, I can't change you. But I can change the circumstances. But I can only do it once. And there is a slight risk it will destroy the world, or the universe—Or Canada. Are you sure you'll take this chance?"  
He nodded slowly, and Honey began to back into the shadows, yet her flesh remained bright. She began to sing a beautiful and mystical Texas melody. The Whomping Willow swayed gently to the beat, and the centaurs and giant spiders were obliged to accompany the girl's melody. There she sang, like a siren, only she wasn't part bird or luring sailors to their deaths...

Peter, Lily, James, and Sybill made their way toward the Costume Ball in there interesting costumes. Peter just happened to be dressed up as a rather chubby Grim Reaper. Lily had chosen to come as an angel, in a lily- white dress and sweater to modestly cover her. In her red hair was her signature alice-band, now colored to match her dress. She had attached a pair of synthetic wings to her back and charmed a halo to float magically above her head. James was dressed as a knight in shining armor. As they walked along the Hogwarts grounds, he suddenly exclaimed."What the—?!"  
"What's wrong?" Peter asked.  
"I am positive that tonight was supposed to be a full moon," James said scratching his head and tussling his hair.  
"Of course it's a full moon, what are you talking about?" Sybill said mystically, "I have to follow its phases very carefully. Yesterday it was a waxing gibbous."  
"Its only a gibbous tonight." Lily said.  
"What?" Sybill squinted, just seeing a white blur in the sky. "My word...I think your right." Her voice was chilled, she gasped.  
"Please don't tell me its another horrible omen that means I'm going to die a horrible and violent death." Lily said, trying to comfort Peter by patting his shoulder.  
"Alright I won't tell you," she said to Lily, "Peter, dear, it is a horrible omen. It means that—"  
"Not listening." He put his hands on his ears. "She's scaring me again, Lily."  
"Sorry." Lily said, and she and Peter ran off toward the ball.  
"Don't take it personally," James said.  
But she was gazing over at the whomping willow, her mouth hanging open.  
"What's wrong?" James asked.  
"Oh, nothing, dear. I just thought I saw—no that's just silly. Shall we?"  
"Wow, isn't that Honey's pendant?"  
She looked down to see the necklace she had borrowed was now glowing faintly and then stopped. Meanwhile back at the Shack, Remus gazed through a crack in the boarded windows and felt a rush of glee to see a gibbous moon, and then turned his striking gaze to the amazing girl beside him.  
"How can I ever—" he gently snatched her in his arms, leaning in to gently kiss her. She sadly turned away, letting him kiss her chiseled cheekbone instead. For as wonderful as the werewolf boy was, she had far too many love interests already. He nodded understandingly. Sirius barked impatiently in the distance.  
"Alright, we're coming." Honey shook her head and pulled Remus toward the tunnel entrance. "Oh, and before I forget—I have to warn you Remy, there are some side affects, mainly because I was a little late."  
"Like..." he asked, stopping in the middle of the tunnel, eyes dimming with unease.  
"Oh, it's nothing bad. You won't transform or anything!" Honey laughed reassuringly. "but you still might be a little more wolfish tonight."  
"Wolfish." He repeated.  
"Not that that's a bad thing. You're too nice, Remy." The reached the end of the tunnel.  
"Okay," he said hesitantly. If he had had a mirror, which he didn't, he would have seen his teeth were a bit pointier than usual, his eyes were vibrant yellow, and he had now aquired a Wolverine™ hairstyle. It was was a stunningly hot look for him, but it is probably better he didn't see these things.  
Using her cypress wand, Honey transfigured Remus's shabby robes into something a bit classier, and did the same for Sirius as soon as he was human again.  
"An escaped covinct..." Sirius said, smirking at his costume.  
"What am I supposed to be?" Remus asked, grinning at his costume.  
"A muggle. Oh, put these on." She handed him a pair of dark sunglasses. She batted her eyes and moved into the moonlight. "I've had my costume planned for a long time, thanks to grandpa Dumbledore." Then, spinning dramatically, she transfigured her muggle jeans and midriff t- shirt into something all too appropriate: a black and yellow striped tube top with a black leather skirt and sheer black stockings. On her back were two wings, which shimmered as she walked. Her tawny tresses fell in endless ringlets, and from them she had charmed two sparkly antennae. "A honeybee!" she exclaimed. With Lupin on her left arm and Black on her right, Honey set- off toward the ball.


	6. Things Finally Get Interesting

Chapter 6  
  
Meanwhile at the Costume Ball, Lily watched in awe as her date consumed most of the snacks on the refreshment table, which magically reloaded itself so that he could continue eating. When he noticed Lily's expression, he managed to say with a mouthful of food, "I'll dance wit you in a minute. Try the seafood," he clamored.  
Lily rolled her eyes and took a sip of butterbeer, which was unusually good tonight. In a brief moment she had downed another cup. She frowned as James and Sybill, still looking very gorgeous, discoed on the dance floor. At a nearby table, Rosmerta (dressed as a—er—ten-sickle- floozy) was making an effort to pull her date out of his chair. It took Lily all of five minutes to realize who the mysterious pirate boy was. Severus Snape had washed his hair! He looked strangely fabulous as a buccaneer, or at least in comparison with Lily's date, who was Death. Lily took another cup of butterbeer and took the sweater off her slim shoulders. She was suddenly feeling rather hot...

All eyes were on Honey as she strolled through the door with a marauder on each arm. Soon after they entered, the Devil gingerly stepped in front of them. Honey did a double take. It was actually Narcissa dressed up as the Devil.  
"Pardon me," Narcissa derided in her grating high voice. She was wearing a particularly distasteful leotard with fishnet stockings, and of course had a forked tail and two horns.  
"Cissy, didn't anyone tell you this was a costume ball?" Sirius asked.  
Narcissa wrinkled her nose and sneered."I wouldn't be so cheeky if I were you, Sirius. The bloody rich, powerful, and brutally handsome Lucius Malfoy—otherwise known as my boyfriend, is standing right over there." She waved her pitchfork toward the dais, where a tall muscular man was sitting on the steps, chatting with a man dressed as Merlin and someone with a sheet draped over their head. The handsome man was holding a particularly scary cane with a silver snake's head at the handle. This man on the steps was almost as gorgeous as Sirius; he and Honey were taken aback.  
"Wow, that is a nifty cane, Malfoy! You're so lucky your dad's bloody rich!"  
"Shut up, Goyle," a deep, aristocratically elegant (but slightly muffled) voice commanded. The guy dressed as a ghost took back the cane from the handsome man and strolled over to Narcissa.  
"Hello, my sweet. I trust this young man isn't trying to steal you from me." His eyes intense as they stared through the eyeholes in the sheet.  
"Ewwww..." said Honey, Sirius, and Narcissa in chorus.  
"Don't have any worries, luscious Lucius," Narcissa's voice became squeaky, "he's a close relative."  
"What do you mean, Cissy?" Sirius joked, "Its not as if your mother has much of a problem with that stuff. Anything to keep the family pureblood, right?"  
Narcissa pursed her lips. "This coming from a boy who's dating a hick from the United States? The United States' South?" Narcissa laughed shrilly through her nose while Lucius cackled evily through his sheet. They strutted off.  
Honey sighed, and motioned Remus over to the refreshment table. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to Lily, who was now doing a strange dance by herself and singing along to the music. Surprisingly, she was very friendly.  
"Try the butterbeer! Its geally rood! I mean really good." Lily straightened herself up and hiccupped, pretending as if she was perfectly fine. "Where'd Peter go?"

Just then a familiar couple waltzed over to Honey and Sirius.  
"Your aura is glowing!" Sibyl exclaimed as James spun her around.  
"Why thankyou—" James' brow furrowed as his hazel eyes met something in the distance. "Wormtail, what's wrong?"  
Peter, the Grim Reaper, bounded over to his fearless leader with tears in his eyes. "I think that somebody put a curse on the deviled clams."  
"Oh dear, is everyone going to get...sick?" Honey asked, pulling out her wand in case she needed to do a quick cleaning spell.  
"No, I'm the only one who had the deviled clams." Peter clutched his stomach. "All the deviled clams..."  
James sighed and nobly put his armored hand on Peter's shoulder. "I'll take him to Madame Pomfrey. I'll be back in a minute."  
"Tell Lily I'm truly sorry." Peter said, as his watery eyes gyrated painfully.  
Honey's amber eyes looked over at the refreshment table, where Lily was giggling and attempting to dance with a rather nervous and frightened Remus. Sibyll squinted at the blurry figures dancing around, unable to interpret Hagrid from Flitwick. She clanked over to the nearest red blob.  
"Lily, dear, Peter wanted me to tell you that he had to go to the hospital wing."  
"Who's Peter?" a preadolescent boy's voice asked. Honey and Sirius exchanged glances. Sibyll had comically mistaken a first year boy with long red hair for Lily Evans.  
"Sorry Bill, she's blind without her glasses." Honey patted the boy on the head. She took the girl's skinny arm in her willowy hand and led her over to Remus and Lily. She quickly zapped the deviled clam plate into oblivion so that no one else would get a taste of its evilness.  
  
"Honey, dear! You've came!" Lily kissed her as if she was an old visiting relative and not a classmate she spoke with every day. "And you look lovely as always! Oh my, and Sirius there was something I wanted to speak with you about." Lily straightened up again. Sirius took a frightened step back. Lily's vibrant green eyes focused on something on the enchanted ceiling that nobody else could see. "Oh well, I can't seem to remember!" Lily abruptly bear-hugged Sirius. Her floating halo bonked against his face. "Why do I hate you? You are really attractive," she slurred, staring at him and stumbling forward. "I miss you, remember when we went out. Remember how much fun we had."  
"I remember you gave me a black eye." Sirius' grey eyes were begging for moral support from Honey, who seemed happy that they were getting along. Lily broke away and grabbed another cup of butterbeer.  
Remus just then recognized Syble's costume: a (very short) old- fashioned crimson dress with a puffy skirt and tight bodice (with strings on the front.) She had on fishnet stockings and red high heels. Over her shoulders was a short red cloak, which had a red hood that she pulled up over her hair. Honey had let her borrow the peculiar glass pendant, which nobody knew anything about. There was a small basket of flowers in her left hand.  
"That's a lovely costume, Sybill," said Honey pleasantly.  
"Why thank you, dear," she replied, adjusting her hood. A sweatdrop appeared at Remus' temple.  
For a while nobody said anything as Lily attempted to moonwalk to the romantic ballad that was playing. Her halo rocked about above her head. Honey chose to break the uncomfortable silence. "You know what cute thing she just did?"  
"I was merely joking," Sybill cooed, then her voice became mystical. "I don't need my glasses when I have my Inner Eye to guide me."  
"Glasses? Like these?" Remus pulled a pair of large spectacles from his pocket, "I found these by the Whomping Willow. I thought they looked familiar."  
"Oh, heaven bless you, my dear!" She suddenly tilted her head up and closed her eyes. Remus looked to Honey who quickly whispered something to him. Turning slightly red, Remus set the spectacles on her face. She opened her now magnified eyes and smiled strangely, pondering something for a moment. "I remember seeing something about this while crystal gazing the other day. Oh yes, I recall something...something about you!"  
"Was it bad?" he inquired, taking a step back.  
"I don't quite remember. If I paid attention to everything the spirits told me I would be quite an eccentric person." She took a step toward him. "Haven't you had anyone crystal gaze for you lately?"  
Remus shook his head.  
She put a hand to her heart. "Oh my dear, you must as soon as possible, it could be life threatening." Sybil's voice was growing scarier by the moment. "Of course, you would need to get a reliable Seer."  
"Like you?" Remus said smirkingly.  
"Well, if you insist," Sybil said, grabbing his hand.  
"Now?" he raised an eyebrow. "Don't you need a crystal?"  
"Darling, a true Seer can never be restrained from her calling...I foresaw something like this and just happened to have brought along the key to the North tower." She plucked it out of her basket. "Lily dear, can I steal your date for the evening?" Sybll asked.  
Lily was busy dancing "the running man," but slipped and fell; her halo stalleing in the air for an extra few seconds before yoinking back to its proper place. "Which one?" Lily blinked, using the nearest manly arm to pull herself to her feet. Sirius winced as the redhead squeezed his arm tenderly and painfully. Sibyll pointed to Lupin, and Lily nodded. "Mmmkay. I'm more in the mood for some "Sirius" dancing!" She snorted and pulled said boy over to the dance floor. "...MANIAC, MANIAC!!!" Lily sang, swinging Sirius over to the parquet floor.  
"That's for sure," said Sirius, rolling his eyes.  
Sybille gestured to Remus and he nervously followed. Honey waved as they disappeared out the back door, leaving Honey the honeybee all by her lonesome.

"Mr. Pettigrew, you're going to be fine." Madame Pomfrey said as James helped him onto a hospital bed. "And as for you Potter...you'd better leave. We don't need any of your tricks here. Although... I am impressed by your faithfulness to your friends."  
"I'm sure Peter would do the same for me. Feel better, Wormtail." James patted him on the shoulder and left. Madame Pomfrey then exited into her office. Strangely enough, Peter was the only one in the hospital wing that night. It was very dark. Very dark. The only light came from Madame Pomfrey's single candle. Curiouser and curiouser...  
The office door swung shut, revealing a dark, shapely figure hiding behind it in a slinky vampyra costume.  
"Hello... Wormtail."  
"Bellatrix..." Peter breathed. "You! You were in charge of refreshments! You cursed the clams didn't you?" Peter squirmed.  
"You cursed the clams, didn't you?! Took you long enough to figure it out." Bellatrix mocked him, stepping into the moonlight, slinking toward him like a snake. "Oh don't take it personally; it was an act of desperation," she gently touched his hand. "You see I can never talk to you because you're always around Bigshot Potter, Goody goody Lupin, and my Siriusly idiotic cousin."  
"Really?" Peter's eyes widened.  
"Of course. And lately you've had a new addition to your group. That southern belle exchange student, Jessamine something."  
"Honey..."  
"Please, call me Bella." She sat at the foot of his bed. "Speaking of that girl, I heard some crazy rumor that there was something—really strange about her..."  
"You mean—"Peter started, then stopped before he could reveal the secret. "I can't say."  
"Oh, come on, you can tell me anything. Don't tell my boyfriend this, but I've always admired the Gryfindor house for its good-looking men. Especially your little group. But I'm beginning think that looks are all your friend James Potter is really good for. The Quidditch scores say he's losing his edge."  
Peter shivered. Bella leaned forward. "But I'm never going to lose my edge Peter. As the Sorting Hat says, in Slytherin you make your real friends..."

Honey was a thoughtful wallflower back at the dance. She had no resentment in the fact that she had entered with two boys and now had none. It was her own fault that her date had been stolen by a tipsy tomato, and her other close male companion whisked away by a glittering insect of her own creation. Its not as if it mattered— her heart was on another.  
"Honey! Where's my date?" James jogged up to her.  
"She and Remus snuck out the back to go crystal gazing."  
James bobbed his head. "Ah man... how'd did Lily feel about this?"  
"Perfectly fine. She had a revelation...finally realized Sirius is hot." Honey leaned back, resting her arm abover her head.  
"Oh," James frowned, then realized who her date was. "I'm sorry. Do you want some butterbeer or something?"  
Honey bleakly nodded. James brought over two Dixie™ cups.  
"Listen, as long as we're all trading lovers..." James' voice trailed off.  
"Of course I'll be your date, Prongs." Honey took a cup. "Cheers."  
They each took a gulp and immediately spat it out all over the floor.  
"This tastes like fire whiskey!" James exclaimed.  
"Texas fire whiskey!" Honey added. "Now I know what's wrong with Lily." She quickly zapped the alcoholic beverages off the table.  
"You'd think someone would have noticed," James said with a smirk.  
"Abra Abra KADABRA!!!! I WANT TO REACH OUT AND GRAB YAH!!!!" A crazy singing voice screeched toward them.  
"How much did she have?" James raised both his eyebrows.  
Sirius was carrying Lily toward them with an expression of concern on his handsome face. She had lost her headband, making her hair look very messy and maniacal. Her magic halo smacked Sirius' forehead as she turned every which way.  
"James! How lovely to see you!" Lily leapt at him and gave him a bone- crushing hug. "Have you seen a white Alice band lying around, I seem to have lost mine!"  
"Did somebody spike the butterbeer?" Sirius asked, trying to pry the girl off his best friend.  
"Yes, but this looks more like a confundugus charm to me. Level 7 at least. Like the one we put on Chris Brown last year," James said thoughtfully.  
"Oh, yeah. Good times." Sirius smiled, making a nearby first year girl drool.  
"Well whether it's the fire whiskey or a spell, we can't let her run around like a lunatic. She has a reputation!" Honey exclaimed. Her voice grew poignant. "I guess I'll just have to walk her back to the girl's dormitories."  
James frowned and dodged Lily's halo. "No, you need to have some fun. You've got your date back, I'll take her back. Besides, who would I dance with? Sirius? He looks better with you."  
"What a considerate thing to do, Jimmy!" Honey gave him a peck on the cheek, making Lily and Sirius twitch. "You're really a kind soul, no matter what they say about you!"  
James arched an eyebrow and picked Lily off the ground. Nodding virtuously, he carried her out the back door. So where is the Divination room? I've never taken the class."

Remus followed her up a number of steps. She stopped at a small landing and pointed at the ceiling, where a plaque with the Divination's teacher's name was stuck to. The trapdoor opened. Remus was overtaken with the scent of incense. A silver ladder descended down in front of them. He suddenly jumped back and made a noise somewhat like a growl. He turned to Sybyl, who had turned a bit pale and placed a hand over her mouth. He didn't know what to say.  
"Why don't we use the stairs?" she cut in before he could speak. "the ladder is a bit unsafe."  
She seized his arm and dragged him over to the wall. Waving her hand over it a secret door opened. She released his arm when they reached the tower room, he looked back to see the staircase was gone. A gabble of tables and chairs were on the other side of the room. She waved her wand to turn to on the lamps in the room, then turn most of them off, and then dim the ones left over.  
"Want some tea, dear?"  
He tugged as his collar. "No, thankyou."  
"Sherry?" she asked.  
"Are you kidding me?"  
"Uh, yes, of course." Her heels clanked as she went to a crystal set in the middle of the room at a table. "Come here boy, I don't bite." She looked into the crystal. "Oh, my. You have a horrible enemy. You will continue to be discriminated against throughout the years. You will outlive most of your friends... and I see... a girl...in your future."  
"Really?"  
"Yes, definitely a girl. And much struggles and...  
"Rowena's heir lives among us..." Her eyes suddenly grew larger than ever, staring straight ahead; her whole body stiff.  
"'beg your pardon?" he asked.  
"....after the houses are united...if power is put in the wrong hands....she will die gallantly after the unnatural moon; not at the hands of the Dark Lord, but by the hands of his lover ...all will mourn...and thedivision will begin again." She collapsed onto the floor.  
"Sybill?" Remus leaned over her.  
"Ten more minutes, Grandma..." she murmured.  
"Sibyll?" he poked her.  
Her eyes snapped open. "My goodness, what's happening here?" her eyes roved around where he was holding her.  
"You made a prophecy," he whispered, "A real prophecy. You said something about the heir of Ravenclaw."  
"Really?" Sybil rubbed her eyes, "Why are we on the floor?"  
"You fell." He said without looking at her. "So, you really are a real Seer."  
"You had doubts?" She frowned at a run in her stockings.  
"I'm sorry if I offended you," he said sheepishly, grabbing her arm to her help her stand. Suddenly his voice turned dramitcally serious. "So does this mean you...know?"  
"Dear, I know just about everything." She tilted her head.  
"Is that a yes?" Remus twitched, sensing the fragrance of incense.  
She didn't answer his question. "Are you sure you don't want any tea?"  
"Actually, yes, I think I might like some," he sighed.

James carried Lily down the halls cautiously. He wished he had the Maurader's map with him, but he had lent it to Peter at lunchtime. He reached the Gryfindor tower and headed up the staircase toward Lily's dormitory when suddenly the stairs shifted into a type of slide. He and Lily ended up back at the foot of the stairs in a heap.  
"Alright, let's try plan B."  
He took Lily back out into the halls and walked past a certain wall three times. He then entered room of requirement, where there were plenty of fire whiskey antidotes and a little bed for Lily to sleep it off.  
As he was setting her down, she took the opportunity to pull herself up and kiss him. It was the thing he'd been dreaming of all his life, but he'd never wanted her lips to taste of fire whiskey. "No, not now, Evans." he said, tucking her in. She clutched for his glasses.  
"I need to tie my hair back, otherwise I'll get acne." She spoke as if this was a life or death situation, and put them in her hair.  
"Feel better, Lily," he said gently and turned to leave, he said to a portrait on the wall, "Could you explain things to her when she wakes up and please try to leave me out of the story." The picture was also of a knight, who challenged him to a duel, but did agree to what he said.  
"I love you!" Lily called as he reached the door.  
"I love you, too," he whispered, and left. He knew the Hogwarts castle so well that he could navigate it without his glasses. Suddenly a shawdowy figure passed in front of him, burt he couldn't see who it was without his glasses.  
"Who is there?" he asked. The person kept to the shadows.

Sirius and Honey were dancing at the dance when suddenly a solemn pirate boy came up to them. "Honey," he said gently, and turned to Sirus. "Black." He sounded as if he was trying to kill him with his voice.  
"Severus, what's—" Honey took his hands in hers.  
"I've done something..." he winced. "Terrible."  
"Did you wash your hair? That's not terrible." Sirius asked.  
Severus explained as much as he could of what he had heard around the Slytherin common room.  
"So a gang of unknown Slytherin's has kidnapped James?" Sirius picked up Snape by the collar of his shirt and pushed him against the wall.  
"Yes."  
"Using information that you contributed?"  
"Yes, but I did not know it was their plan until recently."  
"Sirius calm yourself, I'm sure we'all can stop them. But, where is he?"  
"The Maurader's map, Peter has it!" Sirius said.  
"Peter has dissappeared from the hospital wing, and if we look for him it will be too late." Severus narrowed his eyes.  
"I know a spell that only 1/3 veela's can do that will help you find anyone! I'm 1/3 veela, but I can't do it without my necklace, and I can't remember the last word of the incantion." Honey sighed.  
"I'll get you what you need," said Sirius.  
"As will I," said Severus.  
"Sevy, why are you doing this?" Honey mouth curled into a tight smile, as tears formed in her eyes.  
"Well, I—its just. Y'know what I'm saying'? Its like this—kinda because. Y'know... and like—"  
"Just snog already." Sirus said. And so they kissed. It was so romantic that Sirius turned away disgustedly, and after a few minutes cast a furtive glance over his shoulder.


	7. Return of the Dialogue Tags

Chapter 7  
  
Meanwhile, Sybille and Remus were still up in the North Tower and just finishing up their tea.  
"Are you going to read the tea leaves?" he asked.  
She looked at him confused for a second, and then went back into her mystical voice. "Oh yes, of course—er—swirl the dregs three times and turn the cup upside down on its saucer." They did so. She looked down at her own and turned a bit pale. "The skull, the club, the rat... the bat and...the...the gr—the grim."  
"I take it those aren't very good signs." She shook her head and looked to the window, then snatched the cup out of his hands. She gasped.  
Remus shook his head. "Doesn't sound very good for either of us."  
"Actually you have a lot of good signs."  
Out of the blue, a large bat swooped through the window. It soared around the room and then tangled itself in Sybill's hair. She shrieked and tried to swat it away, it chomped down on her hand. The creature wriggled its way down to her neck and sunk in its teeth. The scent of blood heightened Lupin's senses. He grabbed the bat by the wing and flung it out the window with a growl.  
Sybill had already rushed out of the room and down the ladder. But the landing below was not empty. A humongous shaggy black dog was sniffing around by the steps. It turned to her and growled. She couldn't find the sanity to string any words together. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
The "grim" continued staring at something lying on the ground and stared down at it for a minute. Afterwards it turned and jumped at her. She screamed again. It licked the side of her face and vaulted out of the room. She whimpered. There was the sound of footsteps above.  
"Don't worry that wasn't a vampire bat." Remus was staring down at her from the trap door, except she couldn't see his eyes because of his shades. "Are you all right?"  
There were some nasty marks on her lifeline and on her neck. She ducked out of sight but the scent of her blood and perfume almost pinpointed where she was. He spoke calmly to her. "Honey just taught me new a healing spell, do you need it?"  
"Yes...yes I think so," she said softly.  
"I can't do it from up here, and I can't touch this ladder." he said, pacing around the trap door. "you'll have to come closer."  
She glanced at the silver ladder skeptically and climbed back up to the Divination room. He knelt down to help her, accidently touching the silver. He snatched her and backed away from it. "Why'd you scream?"  
She trembled and looked to the floor, and then looked up."I just saw a grim," she said somberly.  
"Really?" He got a strange look. "What did this grim do?"  
"It finished reading its book and it licked my face." She stared at him seriously. "You know what a grim means, dear?"  
"Yes," He raised an eyebrow and then realized what she was saying. "Oh," he said, "you think I'm going to kill you."  
"Well, I suppose it is a rather ridiculous thought." She looked out the window again. "Very ridiculous."  
"Let me see your wounds," he said, flipping out his wand. "My goodness its really dark in here." He took off his sunglasses. She gave a soft scream.  
"Your eyes..." She tilted her head. "Dear, what yellow eyes you have!"  
"What?" he put a hand to his temple. If Honey wasn't so sweet, he would have been rather furious that she didn't mention this. "Uh, its—part of my costume..." He grabbed Sybill's hand and said firmly, "Caffeine Carbonate." The bitemarks disappeared with a tingling sensation. "You'll need to, um, take off your hood."  
Sibyll awkwardly did so, but her hands dropped when she looked back at him. "What is with your hair?"  
Remus's voice quivered. "Muggle hair gel." He lifted her hair and said, "Caffeine Carbonate."  
"Your teeth are awfully pointy..." Sybill whispered.  
He had run out of excuses. He sighed and gave her a wolvish grin. "Really its not—"  
She began to cry."Oh, I knew this day would come. Its punishment that's what it is, punishment for all my lies and practices! But of all things to happen! Everything, everything I've done was for you! I did my hair, I dressed like a—floozy—, I faked my grades, I ran around this school legally blind! And now—ohhhh!!"  
She cried on his shoulder.  
"Its all right, I'm not going to...hurt you." He turned away from her intoxicating perfumed and patted her on the back. "but why didn't you just tell me about— you know."  
"Because I thought you'd think I was some kind of basket case," she said looking up, and then went back to hugging and crying.  
"Well, most of my friends are basket cases."  
"You are way too nice, Remus Lupin," she said, removing her glasses. "Way too nice." She threw her arms around his neck and brought her lips to his.  
  
"The last word of the incantation is Esaelp," said Sirius.  
"and here's your necklace." Severus handed it to her.  
"How the heck did you get that?" Sirius asked.  
Severus smiled, looking very dark and mysterious, except he was dressed in a cheesy pirate costume. "How'd you get past Filch?"  
"Talent." Sirius sneerd.  
"Boys, thank you both. Now let's just see if it will work." Honey slowly let the necklace drape around her neck, her pupils dilating into starlike gems in the center of a honeycomb set with gold and orange in a fairy's castle. She she pointed her wand at her head. "Erehw eht kceh si semaJ Esaelp." Severus looked frightened. Her pupils went back to normal. "He's at Hagrids!" she let out in one breath, falling into her lover's arms. There was the sound of a window opening somewhere.  
"My goodness did you just hear somethin'?" Honey asked.  
Sirius said, "Why doesn't "Sevy" take a look over by the North Tower."  
Severus gave Sirius a look of hatred and went over by the North Tower. He restrained a girly scream as a very familiar shadowy figure with yellow eyes and very pointy teeth jumped down in front of him.  
"Not again!" Severus whipped out his wand.  
"What are you doing here?" Remus asked Snape, turning away from him to look up at the rope from which he had just climbed down. Severus kept his wand held up high, Remus sighed. "Honestly, I promise you I'm safe tonight." He looked back up at the North Tower, which a girl in a Sailor Moon™ length skirt was climbing down the side. Severus watched as well.  
Remus, Sibyll and Severus went back over to Honey and Sirius.  
"Find anything, Sevy?" Sirius laughed, fingering his hair.  
"You did that on purpose, you knew he was going to—" Severus hissed, narrowing his eyes.  
"Boys, if we really want to save James, unity is our only chance!" Honey pontificated, punching the air.  
"Unity...What I don't understand is why she chose Potter of all people." Severus murmured, gazing the sky.  
"Sibyll just prophecized something about the death of Ravenclaws heir, but I seriously don't think that its James." Remus said, a bead of sweat forming at his brow.  
"...Ravenclaw's heir will die that be Lily?" Honey undertoned, humming a song.  
Remus's breathing was growing rapid as each person spoke.  
"Why would you think that?" Sybill queried, biting her nail.  
"Because you've predicted her death 452 times in the past month," Honey wheezed, batting her eyes.  
"Stop it please!" Remus howled, then literally howled.  
"Stop what?" the group questioned, looking at him.  
"Nothing— what's this about James kidnapped?"  
"Well, someone has gone to strikingly elaborate lengths to get us all out of the way tonight so she could kidnap James., and she's taken him to Hagrid's hut. Ruby, I mean Rubeus, is at a Gamekeeper's convention." She looked at the wolf-boy strangely. "Remy, why do you have lipstick all over over your face?" There was a brief silence.  
"Let's go hunt some Slytherins." Sirius said.  
"Well, now that you're set up. Good luck, then," said Severus, patting Sirius on the shoulder.  
"You're not coming with us?" Honey asked.  
"Why would I want to save the object of my loathing who has continuously tortured me since I first got on the Hogwarts Express?"  
"Because he saved you last year!" Honey furrowed her brow. "He saved you from a werewolf!"  
"Well I guess it was in vain, because I—as you would say— ain't goin' over thay-air."  
"Severus I will never speak to you ever again!" Honey shouted, "Goodbye forever!"  
Remus, Sibyll, and Sirius watched in awe as the couple shared another goodbye kiss.  
"Well I guess I could maybe help— no I'm still not going to go!" Severus backed away frantically.  
"Then you'd better go away." Honey said as Sirius put his arm around her. Severus hesitated.  
"Grrr." Remus said. Severus bolted.  
  
"Okay, this should be easy because they don't know we're coming. We can sneak up on them. Sirius, why don't you go around the back and the rest of us will just go head on. But I think first that we should..." she glanced at Sibyll, "y'know."  
Remus put his hand over Sibyll's eyes for a moment. There now was a golden retriever at her feet.  
So the three of them went around to sneak up at Hagrid's hut when...  
Honey was abruptly zapped back into human form by a spell.  
"Expelliarmus!"  
A large stag, strangely reminiscent of a certain big-eyed Disney character we all know and love, was chained to the fence. A hooded an masked person was standing at the top of the pumpkins, while 3 others dressed the same stood around her.  
"Well, well, well...what have we here?" said Death Eater #2, whose voice was deep and aristocratically elegant.  
"2 floozies and a freak." Death Eater #47 said, his voice cracking.  
"Silence!" The death eater on the pumpkins spoke in an accent reminiscent of Elizabeth Hurley.  
"Who are you people?" Honey asked.  
"Your worst nightmare, Sugar. It was I who is responsible for Lily's condition, it was because of me that James discovered Sirius went out with Lily, and it was I who paid Sidney Zabini to insult you that one day. It has been my plan all along —aahhhhhheeek!" She swatted as a bat tangled itself in her hood and then flew away and across the moon. "—to kill this boy before he can sire the bane of my master," she continued calmly.  
A lone tear trembled down Honey's cheekbone as the biggest smile anyone had ever seen spread on her face.  
"What do you mean?" Remus asked.  
"Well, as you all can tell I do know an awful lot more than I really should. Its because unknown to anyone but myself, not even Dumbledore, we have a real Seer in our midst."  
"Who?" Trelawney asked.  
The mysterious female deatheater continued droning. "So anyway, with a strange amount of luck this person only randomly prophecizes every once in a while, but I have been lucky to fortunately be in the vicinity when it happens, and everybody thinks this person is a fake, so I just exploit her all I want and everbody thinks I'm clever."  
"Oh, you evil woman!" Honey hissed.  
The deatheater was not offended. "So anyway she..this person told me that James was going to have a child who could kill my Voldy—I mean the Dark Lord and so I figured I'd just kill James."  
"Then why haven't you killed him yet?"  
"Well, I was thinking to just Avada him, but then Rosmerta just gave me a great recipe for venison."  
"Y'all are sick!" Honey screamed. "Sick, that's just SICK!"  
The evil deatheater cackled. "Kill the monster and the American, save the skinny one for later use."  
"Dude..." said the aristocratically elegant death eater.  
"We can torture the prophecies out of her."  
Honey saw the bat from before sillohette against the moon. Suddenly a new courage rose in her bosom as she felt a surge of adrenaline. Her amber eyes were slowly beginning to change to vibrant blue, her weird glass pendant was glowing all weirdly, and her hair was all floating around. From her necklace spouted a ray of light which caused the deatheaters to jump in surprise.  
"Run for it!" Honey shouted as they were distracted. So Remus grabbed Sybil and they ran.  
"Get them!" the woman shouted, and Death Eaters #47 and #2 rushed after them. She zapped Honey with a powerful purple pinching spell that knocked her to the ground in horrible agony.  
"Join me, we'll take over the world!" The woman death eater cackled.  
"Sure." Honey said.  
"Then you shall—wha?"  
"Just kidding," Honey stuck her tongue out.  
"Why would you even ask that? You think she's going to say yes after you beat her up?" James asked, turning into a human as Sirius untied his bonds.  
"You...shut up and turn back into a deer!" screamed the woman. Sirius tossed Honey her wand.  
"I'd do something, but I'm blind without my glasses." James squinted.  
"Go give these Remus and Sibyll." Sirius handed him the wands and the boy tottered of. Sirius turned to the third member of this evil gang, Death Eater #118790, who was blowing bubble gum through his mask. "You, let's duel."  
"'kay." So they did. Everyone. Dueling. But Honey's duel was the most exciting.  
In a matter of minutes the death eater was on the ground, considerably beaten. Honey stood there, her wand raised. "Now I shall turn you in to the proper authorities!"  
"You don't want to do this!"  
"I don't want to do this," said Honey, a breeze gently blowing her blondish, reddish, brownish rippling hair. "I have to."  
The evil death eater's voice changed from psychotically insane to smooth and seductive again. "I know who your father is."  
"How?" Honey's light went out.  
"Jennifer told Britney that Tabitha said that Darwin said that Rosmerta said that Bob knows this guy who works at St. Mungos who changes the sheets who told him about the mysterious lover of Dumbledore's daughter, Debbie, who told Rosmerta who then told Darwin who told Tabitha, who told Jennifer who told Britney, who was overheard by—Xeter Xettigrew—(who's name has been changed for his protection) who told her," said Death eater #118790, pointing to the woman death eater. He then ran off, Sirius at his heels.  
  
Honey froze in place.  
"Expelliarmus!" shouted the woman, Honey's rinestoned wand flying quantaciously into the woman's claw like hand. "Time to die, Sweety! Ava—" She raised her wand, but was suddenly struck down by another spell.  
"I don't think so," said Severus Snape, lowering his wand.  
"Sevy! I knew you would never let me down!" Honey cried as she rushed at him. He caught her in his arms and swung her around.  
"Well what do know, he did come back. And you owe me 10 galleons." Remus said with a small smile as the others came into the vicinity. Sirius reluctantly handed him the money.  
"The others got away," said Sibyll, "but they will come to justice one day."  
"Well, now I think we'd better unmask—hang on, where'd she go?" Sirius looked around every which way.  
Now where the woman had laid was nothing but a black widow spider.  
"How did she do that? How did she know exactly who was coming? How'd she know Remy was a werewolf? How did she know I was an animagus?" Honey looked around and whispered. "How did she know that I didn't know my father?"  
"I don't know about your father," said James, "but she dropped this." He held up the Marauder's Map.  
"You know what this means?" Sirius asked.  
"She must have hit Peter with a large blunt object and stolen it from him!" James exclaimed, "the poor kid. I blame myself."  
The 7 of them stood there, looking around at some of the smashed pumpkins and the unnatural moon. Finally Remus spoke."Well, we'd better get back to our dorms."  
"Goodnight...Severus."  
"'Night, Sybill."  
"Goodnight, Honey."  
"Pleasant dreams, Remus."  
"Goodnight, Sirius."  
"Goodnight, James." 


	8. Resolutions

Chapter 8 Lily woke up to light streaming down from an enchanted skylight onto her lovely face. She looked around confused, wondering where she was and why she was still wearing her angel costume. Most of all wondering why she had the worst headache she had ever had in her life. Instead of her normal Alice band, she was wearing something hard and metal to hold her hair back...a round pair of glasses. She stared at them for a brief moment and let out a shriek as no one has ever heard before.  
  
James went into the library the next morning, wearing the uncomfortable 70's contact lenses that he hated to wear because they were really hard an uncomfortable. He spotted Lily at a table with her head in her arms and her face smashed against the desk.  
"Potter I've been wanting to speak to you—Where are your glasses?" McGonagall asked, coming up behind him.  
James felt his face growing flushed. "Oh, I've just, uh lost 'em. What's up, ma'm? Have you done something you're your hair?"  
"Why yes, thankyou for noticing. Anyway, I've heard you've been up to no good again..."  
As McG lectured him, he notice a scrawny figure moving toward his true love (Lily, not Minerva). Sybill was back to her frizzy hair and glasses, looking like Anne Hathaway in The Princess Diaries before the makeover. "You look miserable. Have gotten a glimpse of your future?" she asked Lily.  
"Right now I'm working on glimpsing my past. I've pieced some of it together, can you tell me what happened to Remus after we hooked up again last night?"  
"The dear boy went to the North Tower with me to crystal gaze."  
"Yes, mmmkay, he wasn't mad at me or anything?"  
"No, he was a bit busy. Such a sweet boy isn't he?"  
"Did you kiss?" Lily's head popped up, her green eyes curious.  
"My dear, that is a personal question. Do I detect a hint of jealousy in your voice? They say the green eyed monster get's even the most level- headed of people, and there is no one with eyes greener than you.."  
Lily gave a kind of shaky laugh. "So you're saying you snogged him?"  
"I didn't say that..."  
  
James was watching Lily out of the corner of his eye as McGonagall continued to lecture him. "I'd recommend you get a grip before you ruin your chances as head boy."  
"All right I'll try."  
"Professor!" Lily strode past James as if he was a floor tile, "Ma'm, I really need to talk you. Its urgent and involves something no one is supposed to know about." She strode off screen.  
"Mr. Potter, I'll speak to you later." McGonagall hurried after Lily. A few minutes later...  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN GET LYCANTHROPHY FROM KISSING?" A voice screeched over from across the room.  
The entire library was now staring at Professor McGonagall, Lily Evans, and the glittering insect drama queen in the doorway.  
Lily didn't bat an eyelash. She smoothly announced to the class. "Don't mind us. We're just studying useless trivia for—a game show—and she's just a little stressed. C'mon, time for a flavored-water break." They left.  
  
James slinked along behind the three women as they traveled down the halls, following the Marauder's Map until he slammed into a locked door. He waited outside until he saw the Lily Evans dot move toward the door. He thrust the map into his pocket.  
"Where's Professor Sprout?" Lily asked, with the same tone as if she was asking his favorite color.  
"How would I know?" James asked. Lily gave him a smug smile and went for her wand.  
"Accio Map," she sighed as it soared into her hands, her green eyes roved the parchment and she handed it back over. "Thankyou, James. I swear this map is amazing; if only you used your mind for good."  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." he looked away uncomfortably. He leaned against the wall looking down.  
She started down the hall and paused. "Don't you think you should perhaps forewarn your friend before the owls start arriving?"  
He looked up and nodded. "You're right! Thank you."  
"and thank you," she nodded.  
"For what?" he asked.  
"You know, and so do I." She tossed him his glasses.  
  
"Poor Sibyll. Even poorer Remy." Honey sighed as she held her boyfriends hand whilst walking down the hall.  
"Is there any chance that he might be expelled?" Severus asked hopefully.  
"Yes, and he is mighty frightened, poor boy. More sickly then ever. But I told him that back home when this kinda thing happens, they bring out a pack of silver bullets and have a good oldfashioned shotgun weddin'!" She untied her hair and shook it out until her amber eyes focused something coming toward them. "Well, speak of the devil!"  
"Indeed." Severus quickly changed his fond expression to an expression of ultimate loathing, making several first years faint with fear. Remus, looking like Edward Scissor hands, only he didn't have scissors for hands (duh), was making his way down the hall in the middle of a perculiar conversation with Sirius.  
"...It wasn't a joke, I was really looking for the incantation. But when she ran in I just couldn't help but play it up a little." Sirius grinned mischieviously.  
"What about the bat? Did you do that too?" Remus asked, shaking as he walked.  
"I have no idea what that was about; probably just a coincidence. Hello, Honey..." he paused dramatically. "Severus. Care to help me drag Moony down to the Whomping Willow? Madame Pomfrey's still with the little diva in the hospital wing."  
"Please, lower your voice. No one is supposed to know." Remus whispered, staring like a children of the corn.  
"Well nobody would know if it wasn't for that little flower. "  
Honey frowned. "Don't blame Lily. Its not her fault she's germophobic. She doesn't understand how anyone could touch a boy unless she's wearing rubber gloves—that is, when she's sober." Severus smiled and looked at Honey longingly and she blushed.  
Sirius looked at the both of them. "You guys are going to be together for the rest of your lives, aren't you?" He shook his head, "I seriously doubt any one is else in our group will be that lucky."  
"Well, two of our group might have to get married," Honey said quietly. Sirius glanced Honey up and down and looked at Severus. "Mazeltov! Since you don't have any friends, can I be you're best man? If it's a boy will you name him after me?"  
"I didn't mean us..." Honey backed up. Severus blushed.  
"There goes another owl," Sirius said, as an eagle owl swooped over their heads, "It looks like whatever happens he's at there mercy." Sirius put an arm around his friend. "Its funny, you know how she's so tiny—well, her dad take on Hagrid, man." He made some hand gestures to example the size.  
"Really?" Severus brightened as Remus knees buckled.  
  
"Sirius, I think that's quite enough." Honey shook her head, taking Remus's other arm and helping Sirius support him. "Could you get the door, muffin?"  
Severus picked up a long stick and poked the knot beneath the tree.  
"Okay, I think I can make it from here," croaked Remus. Honey hugged him, and he went on his way.  
  
Hogwarts was having an end of the year fair the last week of school. James and Sirius were hanging out and drinking butter beer when Narcissa called out to them as she walked past, Dobby close behind her.  
"Guess what, Sirius! Lucious just proposed and you're not invited to the wedding!" She held up her hand, on which was a rock that only someone as rich as JK Rowling could afford.  
"Actually Dobby just proposed...for Lucious," said Lily, looking rather muggleish in bellbottoms and a yellow Bambi™ sweat shirt.  
"Imagine the kid those two are going to have." James shook his head.  
"Is that biologically possible?" asked Lily.  
They laughed. Lily suddenly sighed and eyed the two boys nervously.  
"Are you all right?" James asked.  
"Yeah, I'm just kind of worried about—everything."  
"Okay, I know you don't like me, but I still like you and... I was wondering if you might want to go out for coffee or something tomorrow—just as friends."  
"James I'm sorry—  
"All right, I understand." James turned slowly.  
"No," Lily said, "its just that I'm supposed to be spending time with my sister, and the only way I'd be able to is if she brought along a—friend— as well, and she really doesn't have any."  
James shrugged. "Then I'll bring Sirius."  
"Does she like dogs?" Sirius asked.  
"She hates animals," Lily frowned, "Petunia hates a lot of things."  
Sirius raised and eyebrow and gave a mischievious grin. James twiddled his thumbs. Lily smiled at both of them, "But of course, she does love Fonzi."  
"Pick you up at 6?" James asked.  
"Mmmkay." Lily suddenly noticed someone coming toward them and backed up behind the two boys. "Uh-oh."  
Coming down the hill were Remus and Sibyll, looking a bit better then when they had last been seen.  
"Hi, guys. Hi, Lily." Remus was looking a bit better, but a few strands of his hair were beginning to grey.  
Sibyll held up a peace sign. "Its all right... I'm not a werewolf. Everythings going to be fine," she raised an eyebrow and glanced at Lily, "For most of us at least."  
"Awww...look at you guys, everyone's together." Rosmerta waved as she walked by with her boyfried Bob Chang.  
"Dude, I've got something in my eye." James put his hands over his face.  
"Me too, man," said Sirius.  
"Thank you for caring about us Lily."  
"Aw, you know I love you guys. Actually that theory has never been scientifically proven, but its still the law for the school to check it out if someone expresses concern." Lily gave a sheepish smirk.  
"What?"  
Luckily, Lily was saved by a most unimaginable distraction.  
"Severus, why are you dressed like Clint Eastwood?"  
"Is that good or bad?" asked Severus, who was dressed like Clint Eastwood.  
"You're not wearing black..." Lily said, "You are wearing color."  
"Shut up, Mudblood." Severus said through his teeth. "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean it, Lily—"  
"'sokay, old habits die hard. So what is with your outfit?"  
"My love for Honey has lead me to the descision to give up the dark arts."  
"and become a cowboy?" Sirius laughed.  
Severus winced. "Anything for her."  
Lily raised both eyebrows. "When did this start paralleling Grease?"  
"About 21 pages ago," said Remus, "you just noticed?"  
There was a blood peircing scream from across the school.  
"That was Alice, I'd bet my life on it," Sirius said.  
"How would you know?" Frank asked. Honey was sprawled out across the lawn, coughing. Alice stood near by, white asa a sheet and and almost in shock.  
"Honey! Honey what happened?!" Snape cradled his lover in his arms.  
"Some guy jumped down from the wall and tried to curse me, but she jumped in the way!" Alice said, burying her face in her hands. "then the guy ran away!" She fainted.  
"Sevy..." Honey whispered.  
"Yes, yes I'm here," he said.  
"Promise me..." she faltered.  
"What?" he whispered, delicately moving some honeysuckle tendrils out of her amber eyes, and wiping her brow with her treasured lacy handkerchief.  
"Promise me that you'll protect Lily's child..."  
"What?" He nearly dropped her. "Why?"  
"Because." She drawled.  
He took a breath. "Alright."  
"Tell Rosmerta to start her own restaurant, and James to stop being such an arrogant git...and tell Sybil to—"Honey's eyes grew round, "—Teach..." Honey was no longer blinking; she let out her last unfinished sentence in one breath. "Don't let Sirius kkkkkkkkkkk—"  
Then, after one final, lingering passionate kiss, Jessamine Louisa Mirabelle Astrid breathed her last. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111 111111111111111" Severus was quite upset as his only girlfriend's corpse crumbled into a billion rhinestones. He stared up at the sky wide-eyed and screamed.  
Lily wept in James's arms; Remus wept in Sibyll's arms, Sirius and took turns shedding tears in random chick's arms. Peter offered to let Severus weep in his arms, but was unfortunately turned down. So anyways life still went on even after. The Marauders even got along better with Snape for a time, and Lily bought him one of Darwin Patil's kittens(which he named Crookshanks) She did go out with James, in case you didn't know, and Sirius went out with Petunia, which I will not elaborate on. So anyways... 16 and three quarters year old Severus Snape stood at the water's edge of the Hogwarts lake, it was the last day of school and he had loaded up his belongings to go on the Hogwart's express. He took a last moment to see where he and his love had almost kissed for the first time.  
"Horrible thing isn't it?" A harsh feminine voice lisped in his ear. "Death...I'm never letting it happen to me."  
Snape looked up into Bellatrix's lidded eyes. "Would you like to hear more? Beats lying around here." Severus mechanically followed her.  
She suddenly stopped and turned to him. "And as for my cousin, we'd better watch out for him. It sounded to me as if her dying words were 'Don't let Sirius kill.'"  
"You think that's what she meant? Who would he kill? Besides me." Severus gave her a disbelieving look.  
"I'm betting he killed your girlfriend, and will probably try for that Mudblood's baby you gotta protect. I can't believe you promised that! But of course while I may be sadistic, seductive, and of course very evil, I have unquestionable loyalty and admire others who are the same." As they strolled away, atop a building stood three shadowy figures. One of them was Dumbledore. Another was hidden beneath a black mumu, large sunglasses and a really big hat. The last of them had his arm around the middle one like she was his daughter.  
"Its for his own good, y'know," said the man.  
"I know..." the mysterious person said. "But will I ever be able to tell him the truth?"  
"Perhaps some day. If you two are truly in love I swear that nothing will keep you apart forever." Dumbledore put a hand on his granddaughter's shoulder. "Now, who's up for family night at Chuckie Cheeze's?"  
  
THE END 


End file.
